Why I Spoke About Sukkot in My Rosh Hashanah Sermon

The beginning of my sermon on the first day of Rosh Hashanah this year had the congregants confused. I opened my sermon by wishing everyone "a very happy and healthy... Sukkot!" By the expressions on the faces of the people in the first few rows I could tell people were puzzled by my greeting. However, I didn't grab the wrong sermon by mistake. I didn't fall a few minutes earlier, hitting my head and then erroneously thought it was a different holiday.

I really did intend to wish everyone a Chag Sukkot Sameach - a happy Sukkot festival. Why did I choose to talk about Sukkot when that holiday is actually two weeks after Rosh Hashanah? I'll explain. I'm realistic about the fact that on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur there are the biggest crowds gathered together in the synagogue. However, when the Sukkot festival arrives a couple of weeks later there won't be nearly as many people gathered together. And that’s a shame.

So, I decided that I'd use my main speaking opportunity during the first day of Rosh Hashanah to teach about Sukkot, explaining why it's my favorite holiday and encouraging families and individuals to return to the synagogue on Sukkot to experience a fun holiday (without sounding like I was giving a guilt trip). I won't know what type of impact my words had until Sukkot, but in most synagogues it's a culture that will take several years to change. Incidentally, I'm told that while the problem of Jewish people attending synagogue services in droves on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but then not returning for Sukkot is not only a problem in the Conservative and Reform congregations. Modern Orthodox rabbis tell me that they see a drop off in numbers on Sukkot as well, albeit not nearly as drastic.

In my sermon I was careful to not sound like I was admonishing anyone for not embracing the Sukkot festival, but I also strongly encouraged everyone to try an aspect of Sukkot this year (i.e., buy a lulav and etrog set, build a sukkah, visit a neighbor's sukkah, etc.). I explained how I thought it was a shame that so many Jewish people haven’t fully experienced the joy and fun that is Sukkot. I shared that Sukkot is my favorite Jewish holiday and offered the many ways that Sukkot is similar to Thanksgiving, my favorite secular American holiday.

My sales pitch for Sukkot observance included the fact that building a sukkah is a physical task that many will embrace. Those who struggle to find the spiritual nourishment in Judaism might enjoy the act of building the sukkah -- a more hands-on, tactile endeavor. I talked about how I take great pride each year in building my family’s sukkah. I shared that it's a beautiful opportunity for a family activity as well. When my children were younger they were only able to watch me put up the sukkah walls and then I’d let them decorate it with their school projects, but as they have gotten older they have become useful building assistants. Having friends and family enjoy delicious meals in our sukkah under the stars is certainly a highlight of the holiday.

I closed my sermon with the following words that I hope others will take to heart as well:

If you haven’t fully experienced Sukkot I think you should give it a try. Do it in steps at first. Buy a lulav and etrog so you can come to shul and fulfill the mitzvah of taking the four species. Go to one of the many websites where you can buy a pre-fabricated sukkah. Or, if you’re a little more daring, go to a local Home Depot or Lowes hardware store and buy the materials to build your own sukkah. Let your kids or grandkids or the kids in the neighborhood decorate it. If you’re not quite ready to build your own sukkah, attend a meal at a friend's sukkah. I think you might find what I have found – Sukkot is a really fun holiday. Sukkot truly is the Thanksgiving of the Jewish year. It’s a time when we can find joy and comfort in our history and in our ancestors’ agricultural way of life. It’s an opportunity for us to feel grateful for what we have and to get a sense of the fragility of other people’s living situations. It’s a time for us to embrace the hospitality of Judaism and for us to seek out the spiritual.

I wish everyone a G'mar Chatimah Tovah -- may we all be signed and sealed for another year of health and contentment in the Book of Life. And may those who have never truly experienced the joy of Sukkot, begin to embrace the festival this year and find happiness in its rituals.

This Is Where I Leave You: Sitting Shiva in the 21st Century

Jonathan Tropper's "This Is Where I Leave You" was one of my favorite books. I found it hard to put down and several parts were laugh-out-loud funny. As I read Tropper's book, I remember hoping that it would one day be made into a movie. Well, the movie version of Tropper's book opens today and I cannot wait to go see it.

The story focuses on the Altman family who are sitting shiva after the family patriarch dies. It was his final wish that the entire family sit shiva for him for an entire week (the traditional observance period). The film has some of my favorite actors in it, including Jason Bateman ("Arrested Development"), Tina Fey ("30 Rock"), Adam Driver ("Girls"), Dax Shepard ("Parenthood") and Corey Stoll ("House of Cards"). I'm hopeful that it will be an accurate portrayal of the modern shiva experience for the mass audience, but also hopeful that it will prompt learning opportunities for rabbis and other Jewish educators to inform about the ingredients of a traditional shiva observance.

This Is Where I Leave You focuses on a Jewish family sitting shiva

Part of the reason I enjoyed the book so much (aside from Tropper's writing) was that I could relate to the shiva experience -- both as a Jewish person who has sat shiva for deceased relatives as well as a rabbi who has visited hundreds of shiva homes in a professional role. Shiva is an interesting ritual and one that non-Jews often point to as something that really impresses them about the Jewish faith. In fact, last October I had the opportunity to meet Tina Fey in New York City not long after she finished filming "This Is Where I Leave You" and she remarked to me how touching and meaningful it was to sit shiva (even if it was in a fictional movie).

Shiva has many long-standing traditions, but it is also interesting to see how it has evolved over the generations. Sitting shiva in the 21st century is different from previous centuries. Many non-observant families opt to satisfy the more traditional requirements of shiva, while some observant families find themselves settling for a less traditional shiva experience. This is often due to the wishes of the deceased or to keep the peace with other mourners. While "shiva" literally means seven, reflecting the seven days the immediate mourners are required to officially mourn at home following the burial of their loved one, many Jewish families are opting for shorter shiva periods. I've also noticed more emphasis being placed on specific rules for visiting the shiva house -- what one might call "articulated etiquette." That is to say, families are including instructions in the death notice or in announcements at the funeral home that those who wish to pay their condolences to the shiva home may do so only between certain hours of the day in order to give the family their privacy.

The White House Passover Seder Tradition (As Told By Eric Lesser)

I led a Birthright Israel trip in December 2004 with half of the college student participants on our bus from the University of Michigan and the other half from Harvard. Before the trip I was a little concerned as to how the two groups of students would get along on the ten day experience.

However, not only did the Harvard and Michigan undergrads get along great in Israel, but there were some lifelong friendships that were formed. I had a wonderful time co-leading the trip with Gabi Soble, a kindhearted, talented staff member from Harvard Hillel. I also got to know some really impressive young people from Harvard including Eric Lesser. It was clear to me that Eric would go on to do big things in his career and the former President Obama aide is currently on leave from Harvard Law School to run for State Senate in Massachusetts. Of course, he has my full endorsement.

On a Birthright Israel trip with Eric Lesser packing food for the homeless in Israel

Rosh Hashanah 2013 - 5 Things You Should Know

Here is my "5 Things You Should Know About Rosh Hashanah" article, originally published in the AOL/HuffingtonPost Patch.com in 2011:

The Jewish New Year celebration, Rosh Hashanah (Hebrew, meaning "the head of the year") begins this week on Wednesday evening and lasts until Friday. Here are five things that everyone should know about the holiday.

Rabbi Jason Miller blows the shofar (ram's horn) which is used on Rosh Hashanah

Popularity
On the Jewish calendar, this holiday is one of the big ones. Even members of the Jewish faith who aren’t regular synagogue attendees make a point of attending services on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which occurs 10 days later. You’ll notice local synagogue parking lots are overflowing on these days. For some, Rosh Hashanah services are an opportunity for spiritual renewal and introspection. For others, this is a time to visit with friends and enjoy time with family

The Crime of Wearing a Tallit

Empathy is never easy. As a man, I confess that I have struggled to be empathetic to the cause of the Women of the Wall (Nashot HaKotel). This group of women has been coming to the Kotel Hama'arivi (Western Wall) in the Old City of Jerusalem for close to a quarter century to pray in protest of the religious freedom they lack.

From thousands of miles away I have followed their plight after each Rosh Chodesh (new month) prayer service they conduct in the relatively small women's section of the Kotel. In the past year or so I've read about the women who are detained or arrested for having the nerve to wear a tallit (prayer shawl) at the Kotel, which according to Israel law is to be treated as an Orthodox synagogue. While I took interest in their civil disobedience and was supportive of their efforts, I felt they were too focused on the Western Wall when in fact they were being allowed to hold their prayer services (women only or mixed) at the Southern Wall (Robinson's Arch) which was historically more significant anyway.

Our group of male rabbis before heading down to the Kotel plaza

And then all that changed this morning. Together with about a dozen of my male rabbinic colleagues we woke up well before dawn and walked from our Jerusalem hotel to the Old City. I wrapped myself in my tallit, wound my tefillin (phylacteries) around my left arm and on my head, and joined my colleagues at the mechitza (dividing wall) next to the women's section. Rather than holding our own separate service we joined the women in their prayers. Several of the women proudly wore tallitot and I even saw one woman wearing tefillin. It was exhilarating to watch the women begin to spontaneously dance during Hallel, the joyous, musical psalms for Rosh Chodesh.

Conservative Rabbis Robyn Fryer Bodzin and Debra Cantor at the Kotel 

Who Owns Jewish Ritual?

My rabbinic networks have been abuzz about the second episode of a new reality TV show on TLC called "The Sisterhood." I first learned of the controversial episode when someone Tweeted the clip to me asking me what I thought. I then sent an article about the episode from The Christian Post to my colleagues in Clal's Rabbis Without Borders program and an interesting discussion ensued.

TLC's new reality TV show "The Sisterhood" has been panned by Christians for disrespecting Christianity and by Jewish people for using Jewish ritual in a Christian framework.

The new reality show features Texas couple Brian Lewis and his wife Tara and their children. The show premiered on New Year's day. In the second episode, the family discusses their preparation for their son's upcoming bar mitzvah. The couple's 13-year-old son Trevor however isn't Jewish and neither are his parents. In fact, Trevor's father is a Christian pastor who was raised in a Jewish household before converting to Christianity before marriage.

Non-Jews Doing Hanukkah

A couple years ago I wrote about non-Jews observing certain Jewish customs. I looked at such examples as Justin Bieber reciting the Shema in Hebrew before each concert as well as non-Jews maintaining kosher diets, hanging mezuzahs on their front doors, dancing the Hora at weddings and erecting sukkahs.

The new trend seems to be non-Jewish celebs adopting Hanukkah rituals. While conservative pundits in the media claim there is a war on Christmas, just the opposite seems to be true about Hanukkah. More menorahs are being displayed in the public square. Chabad Lubavitch has politicians and celebrities light super-sized menorahs. Even Gene Robinson, a gay Bishop, brought a Hanukkah gift of dreidels to Jon Stewart when he visited the Daily Show during the holiday. And a call for new Hanukkah songs has been answered by a rapper.

Heeb asks, "Has Hanukkah become the must-be-seen celebration for the hip and famous, regardless of semitic bona-fides?" What prompted that question was a simple tweeted photo from singer/actress Zooey Deschanel, who is Roman Catholic. Deschanel's tweet said "Happy Chanukah y’all!!!" and was linked with an Instagram photo of her lighting the Hanukkah menorah. That photo has received close to 100,000 likes on Instagram.

Meeting the New Matisyahu

After posting a photo [below] with Matisyahu backstage at his recent Detroit concert, the questions began. Friends wanted to know if he was wearing a kippah (yarmulke) or tzitzit (ritual fringes), whether he was eating kosher, and if I asked him if he was still frum (religious). For the record, he still keeps kosher and mostly eats vegan (although before his concert he ate a bagel with creamed herring at NY Bagel, a local Detroit bagel store that I certify as kosher).

I understand fans' fascination with Matisyahu's religious transformation. After all, he's a celebrity who became famous as a result of his Hasidic look and he now looks significantly less outwardly religious. However, Matisyahu's transformation isn't unique and that is precisely what I explained to those who asked those questions.

I reminded them that we all know people who became religious and then decided to make another lifestyle change by changing their level of observance We all know religious Jews who have veered "off the derech" (the path of observance). In the case of Matisyahu, because he's in the public eye his personal spiritual and religious transformation is scrutinized.

His journey is more complicated than deciding to shave his beard and to stop wearing religious garb. His journey begins in childhood. Matthew Miller (AKA "Matisyahu") wasn't born into an observant family. He was brought up as a Reconstructionist Jew and went to Hebrew School at Bet Am Shalom (Reconstructionist) in White Plains, New York. He went to Israel with the Alexander Muss High School in Israel program. A devoted Phish Head, he started attending the Carlebach Shul in Manhattan and becoming more ritually observant. In his early 20's he joined the Chabad Lubavitch movement and began using his Hebrew name "Matisyahu." In the past year, he has left Lubavitch, shaved his beard, and stopped wearing a kippah and tzitzit.

Since Matisyahu's religious appearance is a cause célèbre, his fans want to know if his religious observance has changed in addition to his "look." Does he still observe kashrut (the Jewish dietary laws) and pray daily? Does he observe Shabbat anymore? How has his religious transformation affected his wife and children?

I certainly wasn't going to ask him any of these personal questions when I met him after his recent concert (I first met him after a concert in 2004), but Heeb writer Arye Dworken didn't shy away when he interviewed him recently over the phone. As Dworken writes, "It turns out though that while all the other media outlets focused on follicles, there was a lot more going on inside the mind of Matthew Paul Miller. Yes, the man behind the unkempt whiskers is going through some changes, stylistically, aesthetically, philosophically, artistically, and religiously. And while it saddens me to see any charismatic and talented young Jewish role model struggle with his identity especially when his unprecedented example has meant and can mean so much to many in our small and insular community, ultimately, Matisyahu's struggle is very real and very much worth discussing."

Here are a few of Dworken's more thoughtful questions and Matisyahu's candid responses:

I've got to ask about your wife's reaction to all of this. I know you have children and you've raised them in a fairly strict Orthodox environment...and for a husband and a father to change his aesthetic suddenly... and perhaps his observance... that must be pretty jarring. I think I even read that you didn't discuss the beard shaving with your wife before getting it done.

Yeah... I love my wife very much. But it had nothing to do with her. I chose to become religious. I chose all that. I never said this is permanent and this is who I will be for the rest of my life. People who are close to me who chose to be close to me, and they have to accept that. In general, the whole beard thing was very personal. I am in the public eye so I knew it was going to be discussed… but I was trying to not think of other people at the time. I wanted it to be pure.

Your beard was your identity. Like Batman has a mask. Or Paul Wall has grills. And the Jewish community respected you for your uncompromising observance, even if, to many, it started and ended with aesthetics.

Yes, but I think that I should never see myself being dependent on the Jewish community. I saw my crowd grow from being 80% Jewish to there being maybe three or four beards at a show. Maybe five or ten yarmulkes out of a crowd of thousands. If Marley shaved off his dreadlocks, he maybe would have not been as cool but his music would have still touched the souls that it did.

How do you approach spirituality now? Like, let's get specific in terms of observance.

I've got a chef who cooks vegan and it's kosher. That’s not an issue though. The concept to me is much deeper than mixing meat and milk. You shouldn't get caught up in all the stuff. It has to be about healthy, about mind, body and soul. You can keep kosher and be completely out of shape. If I didn’t have Shabbos to turn off the phone, the computer, and to not tour--that’s a deep experience. Keeping Shabbos back in the day could sometimes be like a bad acid trip. I'm stuck in a dark place for twenty-five hours, sometimes on tour being in a hotel with no TV, being alone… that was really lonely. So I've come a long way as far as my relationship with Shabbos, in understanding it. In making it personal. And my thinking is, why not do that on Saturday?

I’m a blend right now with what goes with my intuition and what goes with the rules. But why do I keep the Shabbos though? Is it guilt? Is it meaningful to me? I still have to sift through it.

How does one "sift" with a family and a spotlight?

I'm very open with the kids. I'm very comfortable with what im doing. My oldest son… we have conversations. We talk about it. I could say, we could never do this before...or mom doesn’t want us to do this… but dad is okay with it. It can get confusing but it's important for me to show them that there is a broader perspective. This world that they've been raised in --basically the Lubavitch headquarters and then on a tour bus --this is a beautiful opportunity for them to have these experiences. This is real. Change happens and you can't always be sure of your decisions and beliefs. I think that they have to make their own decisions in life. They can't have anyone telling them what to do. Not even me.

Do you want them being brought up in a Yeshiva upbringing?

I wouldn’t put them in Yeshiva, if it were up to me. There are some beautiful aspects to it. There are some holy and beautiful things to it… being outside of the mainstream culture which focuses on being cool, girls, and all that….the main thing for my kids is that they should be taught to think and question. That didn’t happen for me until college because I was in public school. I was exposed to my lifestyle, but no one else's. The main thing [for my kids] is a place that can let them grow and learn and question. Next year, they're going to a home school-type program where they learn differently. I think it's important to get past the idea of who and what you are. It's good to have identity and know what you are. I tried on different things…I wore a yarmulke on the subway, I grew a beard…that was me exploring. I don’t like the concept that we're taught in Yeshiva of being the chosen people and that’s so rampant. I’ve seen that a lot. And my kids have said that coming home from school…and I've gone in to speak to teachers about that.

Are you still wearing a yarmulke?

I think basically when I took on the look of a chassid, there was a whole look. A whole vibe. It was style. I decided to be a chassid. But I was also twenty-one years old. I remember when I started wearing a yarmulke and started growing the beard and got the tzitzis all at once. It looked cool to me. It completed the uniform, but then I got pushed into the suit. That became later when I got really sucked in to Chabad. You need to wear a hat and a suit. In retrospect, it was a style thing. I know the yarmulke represents more than style… but it didn’t fit with who I was any more. Does it really represent my fear of God? That’s bullshit. I wore a yarmulke when I was drunk and puking in public. That became nothing to do with fear of God. People act disrespectfully when they're wearing a yarmulke.

But do I feel God without the yarmulke? It did bring me to a different standard, yeah. I mean, I stopped checking out girls when I was twenty-one and wearing a yarmulke. But it wasn’t about God, it was about identity. I went into a gas station in South Carolina and had it on -- I forgot to take it off -- and I remember the reaction of the people in the gas station. I remember thinking, Oh yeah, I'm different. I felt proud. But then it became less important to me. My spirituality is happening inside. If it’s really happening inside, I really feel for myself and I don't need anyone else being aware of it.

Getting back to the new record, you open it with the words of praise "Yevarechecha [you should be blessed]." Why start the record with such a strong Jewy opening?

Shaved beard and blonde hair. He's obviously given up on Judaism, most people will say. On the contrary, I feel more spiritual than I ever have. It’s not that simple as people want to see, and so I think it's cool that the first thing someone heard on this record is yevarechecha. It's a message that we [just] can't all have simple.

So if there are so many changes here, then why keep the name Matisyahu? Why not go back to Matthew if this is about reinvention?

Judaism is still very important to me. It’s still a big part of who I am. Looking here next to me...the books I have are Burnt Books, a comparison of Rebbe Nachmun of Breslov and Franz Kafka. Another is a tehillim, another is a siddur and another is a biography of the [Rebbe] [Note: Matisyahu mentioned a specific Rebbe but I was unable to hear it]. The name "Matisyahu" means a lot to me and it’s not hard to say. Like, it doesn’t have a “chh” in it. It has a spiritual life force. My real name Matthew or Paul are both Christian names and so I don’t relate to them. But Matisyahu feels like it has a spirit I relate to.

If we learn anything from Matisyahu's very public religious transformation it should be that our identity isn't static. Our lives are journeys and the only thing different about Matisyahu's journey is that it is being lived out in the public eye. We all change our outward appearance, our religious observance and our convictions. Matisyahu's look may have changed drastically, but his music will continue to be full of faith, fervor and spirituality. Personally, I have tremendous respect for Matisyahu's courage in making these changes. He's proving that being religious isn't about a long beard, dangling tzitzit, and a black hat and suit. It's what's inside that matters most.

Here's video of Matisyahu's encore performance of "One Day" this past Sunday at the Fillmore in Detroit:

Savvy Auntie Blessings

There is something very special about an aunt and uncle's relationship with their nieces and nephews. No one has demonstrated the importance of the relationship between an aunt and her nieces and nephews better than Melanie Notkin, who launched SavvyAuntie.com. Here is the second column I have published on the SavvyAuntie.com blog and it is in honor of my children's Aunt Stephanie:


Blessing my children is something I do every Friday night before we begin our family Sabbath dinner. Last week, I had the opportunity – actually the honor – to bless my children’s Savvy Auntie. Officiating at the wedding of my sister-in-law Stephanie made me realize just how meaningful she is in the lives of my children. More important than being my wife’s sister or my sister-in-law is her role as “Auntie Steffi.”

Counting the Omer in the Digital Age

Today is the 13th day of the Omer, the period of forty-nine days between the Jewish holidays of Passover and Shavuot.

The Jewish people are commanded to count these forty-nine days which commemorate the day on which an omer (unit of measurement) of barley was offered in the Temple until the day before an offering of wheat was brought to the Temple on the festival Shavuot. We begin this counting on the second day of Passover and each night announce what day of the Omer it is.

Omer counting devices and special Omer calendars have long been relied upon to help individuals remember the correct count, but in the Digital Age there are websites and apps and text message reminders to help keep the counting correct.

There are also some fun tools to help us count the Omer. For the past 13 years the Homer Calendar has been a fun destination on the Web for Jewish Omer counters who are also fans of The Simpsons. The website, which has had about 225,000 visits, cites Howard Cooper with the idea of an Omer calendar that pays homage to The Simpsons and Homer Simpson, the patriarchal head of the cartoon family. In addition to providing an easy-to-use omer calendar, the site is also a resource for Simpsons fans who want to learn more about the many Jewish references on the show. Brian Rosman, the Homer Calendar's administrator, also tweets the daily Omer count @CountTheHomer on Twitter.

An introduction to the website explains that it is now in its 13th year, which it calls its "Bart Mitzvah". The site also mentions that, "When we started, we got a 'cease and desist' order from Fox, claiming a copyright violation. Interestingly, the letter was dated on Shavuot. We wrote back, claiming a 'fair use,' and haven't heard anything since."

Seth and Isaac Galena over at Bangitout.com have come up with two fun ways to count the Omer. With a nod to pop culture, the brothers have created the Movie Lover's Omer Counter and the Sports Lover's Omer Counter. The movie counter uses movies with numbers in their titles to remind users which day of the count it is, while the sports counter relies on athlete's uniform numbers. Perhaps next year they'll create an omer counter for NASCAR fans with car digits.

There are several mobile apps that help remind users to count the Omer and provide the correct day of the counting. Rusty Brick first released its Counting the Omer app (Free) back in 2009 and it is still an industry leader. The app provides an Omer calendar and includes the blessings and spiritual information pertaining to each day of the period. The free version of the app does not provide a daily reminder to count, but the 99-cent version does. Moshe Berman's Ultimate Omer 2 ($2.99) not only reminds you to count the Omer, but it also lets you keep track of the days you remembered to count. The app also plays the phone's default alarm sound to remind you to count.

Mosaica Press released a new app ($4.99) that is based on Rabbi Yaakov Haber's Spiritual Grow book. The app, which is available in iPhone and iPad formats, helps count the Omer and also provides daily insights with a Kabbalistic flavor. An example of the Jewish spiritual wisdom the app provides is: "Day 10: Make sure that today you not only give people the benefit of the doubt, but even when it seems that they are definitely in the wrong, try to find some way of justifying their actions. Try to see their point of view...Find two things in your life that conflict and make them harmonize." Some of the app's features include the proper blessing to recite before counting each night, automatic adjustment for time zone and location, and social network integration to share on Facebook and Twitter.

In addition to the mobile apps, there are other ways that technology is playing a part in the Counting of the Omer. Josh Fleet, one of the editors of the Huffington Post's religion vertical, came up with the idea of offering a liveblog on the HuffPost Religion site during the Omer period this year. The Omer Liveblog features blogs, prayers, art and reflections for all 49 days of spiritual reflection during the Omer.

Rabbi Heather Altman turned to Google Docs to help assemble other rabbis who would contribute their wisdom to a Counting the Omer project she conceived of to raise money for the Global Seva Challenge. Rabbi Altman launched the seven week email subscription series called Countdown to Freedom which offers a different spiritual insight each day via a subscription-based Constant Contact newsletter. Subscription costs of the daily Omer reflection newsletter raises funds in the fight against human trafficking. Her 49-day project also raises awareness of the global problem of human trafficking, which is now a $32 billion business.

A generation ago, Jewish people simply counted up the days of the Omer until Shavuot arrived. The more spiritually inclined might have delved into the mystical traditions of the counting period. However, no one could have imagined that technology would create so many new aspects to this seven week observance. New technology has certainly opened the door to new ritual.

Selling Chametz Online

When I posted a link to my recent NY Jewish Week blog post on Twitter with the question "Can One Sell Chametz Online" I received a response from Rabbi Elli Fischer (@adderabbi) which stated, "Obviously, one CAN sell chametz online" with a link to CookiesDirect.net. Okay, he's got a point there!

Jokes aside, the selling of chametz has been one of the more prevalent ways the Jewish community has used modern technology to perform Jewish ritual (I don't recommend selling your chametz on eBay). Here's my blog post:

Can One Sell Chametz Online
Originally Posted on the Jewish Techs blog (The Jewish Week)

On the Jewish Techs blog we have looked at the way several Jewish rituals are now performed using the Internet. Not every Jewish ritual can be transferred to the medium of the Internet, but even the question raises some interesting points for discussion. With the latest Web technology, we have seen how Jewish life-cycle events can be more inclusive and we have also looked into the legality of convening a minyan (prayer quorum) over the Internet.

The Barack Obamulke Yarmulke

There is much discussion about "The Jewish Vote" in the ongoing presidential race. While "Jews for George" made headlines during the 2004 campaign and more Jews than expected voted for McCain in 2008, in the 2012 election the political pundits are already predicting a large shift among Jewish voters, who historically have voted overwhelmingly Democrat.

Aside from polling numbers, another way to determine how the Jewish vote is shaping up will be from yarmulke sales. In the past few presidential elections the nominees from both major parties have had their name and logo embroidered on suede yarmulkes (or kippahs) as one more way for supporters to promote their candidate.

Already, yarmulkes featuring President Obama's re-election campaign logo are being offered for sale on the Web. The Obama Yarmulkes were famously known as "Obamulkes" when they first appeared in 2007. The ivory suede yarmulkes with the 2012 Obama re-election logo are available for pre-order online or in person at J. Levine Books & Judaica in NYC. Of course, it is being emphasized that these kippahs are made in the USA as it would be scandalous if they were made anywhere else. The yarmulkes are selling for $9 each at Obamulkes.com (with a $5 shipping charge). No doubt they'll be on the heads of many Obama supporters at the upcoming AIPAC Policy Conference at the Washington Convention Center in early March and on college campuses around the country.

Matthew Walters, the creator of the Obamulkes, isn't naive. He knows that there will be many Jews who aren't fans of the president and won't like seeing the Obama re-election campaign logo featured on a Jewish religious item. But he offers a different perspective: "As a Jewish American who's also a vocal supporter of President Obama, I see the Obamulke yarmulke as a unique conversation starter. With so much at stake at the ballot box in 2012, there's a real value in wearing your politics on your sleeve -- or in this case, keppe (Yiddish for head)," he explains.

During the 2008 campaign, more than 1,500 Obamulkes were delivered to Jewish supporters all around the country, but the most memorable recipient turned out to be Barack Obama himself. "In November 2007, then-candidate Barack Obama came to New York to give an historic speech at the Apollo Theater in Harlem," Walters remembers. "I had a chance to meet him, so I handed him one of our 2008 Obamulkes. He laughed and showed it to his Secret Service guys. I think he got a little kick out of it."

Making Shivah Easier Using Technology

Originally published in the Detroit Jewish News

When Sharon Rosen’s mother passed away in July 2009 she had the same eye-opening realization that many survivors do during the week of shivah: The death of a loved one can be a stressful, anxiety-ridden time. Overwhelmed with sadness and the reality of her loss, Rosen experienced planning a funeral and coordination of shivah in her home for the first time.

During the shivah period, Rosen felt like she took on the job of logistics director and wasn’t able to be fully in the moment to reflect on her loss. She was frustrated with all of the planning taking place for the shivah at her home. Even though friends were taking care of many things, it was still a hectic, difficult time for her.

Friends sent food for the mourners gathered at Rosen’s home, but despite their best intentions, some of the platters were delivered when there was already ample food and no room to refrigerate the remaining food overnight. Questions and concerns about food created unnecessary additional anxiety. Rosen felt like she had lost control as friends gathered in her home for a week, cleaning, setting out food and rearranging furniture.

Rosen used this stressful experience to create an innovative new website so others mourning the death of a loved one could find shivah to be an easier ritual. Realizing that increasing numbers of people rely on the Internet for information and as a convenient way to communicate, Rosen created a comprehensive website that organizes every aspect of the shivah experience. She dedicated the new endeavor to her mother’s memory and, after a year of research, design and building, she launched ShivaConnect.com.

“I thought of other registry technologies like a wedding registry or baby registry where information is posted, and I worked with my programmer to develop a shivah registry,” Rosen said.

What Rosen created was a quick and convenient way to connect with people online. Recognizing that mourners have several matters to take care of immediately following a death, the site allows for the quick entry of information and creates a link to the registry that is sent to the creator of the registry entry and is additionally emailed, texted or tweeted to relatives and friends. There is also a “Search for a Registry” option on the site, but the registries are not visible to search engines and a lock-down privacy option is possible.

Visitors can express their condolences and learn about the Jewish mourning rituals from educational articles. A yahrzeit reminder feature will email annual notices like many funeral home websites. A zip code search is built in to locate food options to send to the shivah home. Additionally, a link to ShivaConnect’s donation section is provided, where visitors find direct links to charity website donation portals.

Rosen has extended an invitation to hospices, funeral homes, synagogues and Jewish organizations to be listed as “Helpful Resources,” with links to facilitate charitable donations. Many synagogues are using the site to enhance the support they already provide to their members to inform of deaths.

In the past year, ShivaConnect boasted more than 75,000 page views with about 20,000 unique visitors. Rosen is looking to social media to help publicize the site. As the site has grown, she frequently posts updates about ShivaConnect on her personal and public Facebook pages, and on LinkedIn, Yahoo Groups and Twitter.

Rosen has become something of an expert on shivah observance. She recently spoke at the National Institute for Jewish Hospice’s annual conference hosted by its president Rabbi Dr. Maurice Lamm.

How has ShivaConnect.com begun to make shivah observance more manageable and less stressful?

“Nothing can ease the pain of loss, but the convenience and accessibility of the Internet to learn about sitting shivah can be tremendously helpful,” Rosen explained. “ShivaConnect also is serving as an outreach tool, providing information to non-practicing and unaffiliated Jews who want to honor a Jewish relative and want to learn more.”

In Rosen’s home state of Florida, 30 funeral homes are participating in ShivaConnect. There is no charge to funeral homes to be listed and no charge to synagogues to use the service, but Rosen allows some food establishments and florists to advertise on the site for a fee.

What began with an anxiety-ridden experience has turned into a meaningful way to honor her beloved mother’s life and make grieving a little easier for others. While observing shivah will never be totally stress-free, Rosen’s ShivaConnect has utilized the technology of the Web to provide the right resources to simplify the process.

Sitting Shiva for Traditional Shiva

I've been thinking about death and mourning quite a bit lately. To begin with, the first week of the new year brought with it a rash of deaths here in the Detroit Jewish community. There were a fair share of elderly grandparents who died in their 80s and 90s during the first week of 2012, but that isn't all that uncommon. Within a one-week period, however, there were tragic and untimely deaths in every age demographic ranging from a drug overdose to horrific traffic accidents to sudden massive heart attacks to the succumbing of long illnesses. There was a lot of mourning and a lot of grieving here in the Detroit Jewish community.

I've also been thinking about death and mourning because I've been working on an article for The Detroit Jewish News about the Shiva Connect website which helps mourners coordinate shiva following the death of a loved one. The research I've done on this website has pushed me to look closer at how Jews are observing shiva in the 21st century.

Author Bruce Feiler's article in today's  NY Times was difficult to read because it makes me think that we should perhaps sit shiva for the traditional expression of Judaism's mourning rituals which have been around for thousands of years. Feiler, the author of Walking the Bible, writes about observing a "secular shiva" for his friends who have died recently (or for his friends' relatives). Rather than paying a condolence call to the home of the mourners, Feiler's friends have gathered elsewhere and ordered pizza and a fruit salad and listened to eulogies by the grieving family. Bereft of prayers or the obligatory rites of Jewish mourning, Feiler finds this "secular shiva" to be a natural outgrowth of our busy, complicated lives without religion in the Digital Age.

Revised USCJ Luach

Today is the second day of Rosh Chodesh Tevet, the beginning of the new Jewish month. It is also the seventh day of Hanukkah. That means that the past two mornings have been long, complicated prayer services with Torah readings from two separate Torah scrolls, Hallel (songs of praise for both Hanukkah and Rosh Chodesh), and a Musaf service for Rosh Chodesh that includes an insertion for Hanukkah. It's unusual for morning minyan to last for a full hour, but Rosh Chodesh Tevet is always a long service (of course, it's even longer when it falls on Shabbat).

There are a few days when morning minyan gets complicated and requires a road map (like Hoshanah Rabbah for example). A gabbai (one who runs the synagogue service) often uses a luach (calendar and service guide) for assistance in coordinating the services and making sure that nothing was left out that should have been included or included that should have been omitted. There are several Orthodox versions of a luach and many Conservative Jewish leaders will use those, however, the newly revised official luach of the Conservative Movement is a wonderful resource.

My teacher Rabbi Miles Cohen (pictured below) took over the responsibility as editor of the USCJ Luach (or Luah with a dot under the 'h' as its rendered therein). Kenneth Goodrich created the first Luach for the Conservative Movement 17 years ago for the Jewish year 5755. Upon Goodrich's untimely death in 2004, Rabbi Robert Abramson edited and managed the publication of the Luach. This is the first year that Rabbi Cohen has taken on the editorial tasks.

I studied with Rabbi Cohen at the Jewish Theological Seminary and found him to be an amazing teacher who takes synagogue skills very seriously. He is punctilious when it comes to nusach (Hebrew pronunciation and melody) and is one of the world's experts in Hebrew grammar pertaining to the Torah text and liturgy. Rabbi Cohen is also a master typesetter, and has created guides and interactive software for learning to read Torah, haftarah, and megillot, as well as guides for nusach skills and Hebrew grammar.

The USCJ Luah can be purchased from the United Synagogue for Conservative Judaism online book service. It is an indispensable tool for the Conservative synagogue and Rabbi Cohen has superbly improved this important resource.

Tamir Goodman's Sports Tzitzit

Tamir Goodman, known as "The Jewish Jordan," made national headlines in the late 1990s when he decided not to play for the University of Maryland because they wouldn't adjust their schedule to meet his Sabbath observance. Sports Illustrated even reported on Tamir's decision to play for Towson State in 1999. However, a few years later SI reported:

In retrospect, maybe we went a little too far with the whole 'Jewish Jordan' thing. Three years ago (SI, Feb. 1, 1999) this magazine put that label on Tamir Goodman, described his game as 'enthralling' and reported breathlessly how he played 'a foot over the rim when rebounding or dunking.' The Orthodox Jew who starred for Talmudical Academy in suburban Baltimore was, we wrote, 'built for basketball.'
Only, as it turned out, Goodman wasn't built for college basketball. In September 1999 he reneged on an oral commitment to Maryland when he felt the school was lukewarm about his playing ability. He ended up at Towson, where any doubts the Terps might have had about him were borne out As a freshman Goodman scored 6.0 points a game, and last year he played in just seven games, averaging 1.9 points and 2.3 turnovers. His playing days at Towson ended after he accused his coach, Michael Hunt, of brandishing a chair at him in the locker room.

After staging a return to the spotlight in 2007 to capitalize on his high school and college fame, Tamir Goodman has been running basketball camps, putting on clinics, and doing speaking engagements. Now he is turning into a businessman as well.

As any Orthodox Jewish basketball player will tell you, it's not easy running up and down the court with four woven sets of strings dangling from the four corners of your undergarment. The photos of Tamir hooping it up with a yarmulke on his head and his tzitzit flying through the air as he leaped for a layup became famous and were sources of pride in the observant Jewish community. However, it was not comfortable for ballers like Tamir to wear mesh tzitzit under his jersey.

Now Tamir Goodman is releasing his own brand of sports shirts that come with tzitzit attached. ColLive.com reported on Tamir's invention which he unveiled at the recent OK Kosher conference:

At OK Kosher Certification's 13th annual international Mashgiach Conference held Monday, Tamir introduced the "Sport Strings Tzitzit."
He described it as revolutionary tzitzis garment that features hi-performance properties and a compression fit - offering the wearer ultimate comfort and style for sports and everyday wear.
Tamir was joined at the conference in Chovevei Torah in Crown Heights by a friend who also embodies the notion that being religious does not interfere with his career: boxing champion Dmitriy Salita.
While Salita did not say if he wears the "Sport String Tzitzit" himself, Tamir made it clear that anyone would enjoy wearing them for their UV protection, moisture wicking and anti-odor features.

Goodman's tzitzit are certified kosher by the OK Kosher certification agency. No word yet on whether NBA star Amare Stoudemire will be wearing the Sport Strings Tzitzit.

TSA Issued Lulav Alert for Sukkot This Year

On this blog I've written about past incidents on airplanes concerning presumed breaches of airline security when Jewish passengers began to put on tefillin (black leather straps and black boxes known as phylacteries). Like many others I criticized the airlines and Transportation Security Administration (TSA) for not educating flight crews that these were necessary parts of Jewish prayer garb and therefore permissible on planes and in airports.

Therefore, I feel it is important to now praise the TSA for its recent notification to all employees concerning the prayer accoutrements that might have been seen in airports and on airplanes during the Sukkot holiday. The TSA's alert stated that "Observant Jewish travelers may carry four plants – a palm branch, myrtle twigs, willow twigs, and a citron – in airports and through security checkpoints. These plants are religious articles and may be carried either separately or as a bundle. Jewish travelers may be observed in prayer, shaking the bundle of plants in six directions."

It concluded that "TSA’s screening procedures do not prohibit the carrying of such agricultural items through the airport or security checkpoints, or on airplanes. These plants are not on TSA’s Prohibited Items List. As always, TSA is committed to treating all passengers, including passengers who may be observing Sukkot, with respect and dignity during the screening process."

Very nice. I hope the TSA remembers to issue this directive in future years as well. So, it seems that Jewish travelers are now free to carry and shake their lulavs through airports and in airplanes (not during takeoff and landing please) without fear of being interrogated, breaching security measures, or being responsible for an emergency landing.

As for bringing your kid's plastic sword on board an airplane during Purim... don't push it!

Did Oprah Go to the Mikveh for Her New Show?

What has Oprah Winfrey been doing since ending her long-running afternoon talk show last May? If your only news source was JTA.org (the Jewish world's version of the AP), you might think that she has embraced Judaism on the level of Madonna or Demi Moore.

A misleading title grabbed many people's attention this week when the JTA published a news brief with the bold header stating "Oprah visits mikvah for new show." My colleague in Israel, Rabbi Andy Sacks, re-posted the news brief on Facebook and wondered allowed: "Now I have heard of going to Mikveh for Taharaat Mishpacha (family purity), before Haggim or Shabbat, for dishes, conversion, etc. But this is a new one on me."

Well, apparently Oprah did not embrace the Jewish ritual of immersion in a mikveh before launching her new show (that would have made more headlines I'm sure), but she did visit with two Chasidic Jewish families for an upcoming episode and toured a mikveh. The new series called "Oprah's Next Chapter" will premiere in January on her OWN network.

Writing on the Forward's Shmooze blog, Renee Ghert-Zand explained that Oprah stopped by Congregation B'nai Avraham's new state-of-the art ritual bath while scouting locations to film segments for her new show. "The Shmooze is guessing that the visit to the synagogue’s new, has something to do with Winfrey’s plans to touch upon the halachic concept of 'family purity' and the related spiritual nature of immersion in 'living waters.' While a crowd of neighborhood people gathered around to get a glimpse of the highly influential mega-celebrity, mikveh lady Bronya Shaffer admitted to knowing virtually nothing about her or her work."

If the mikveh ends up being showcased on Oprah's new television show, the Jewish ritual of becoming purified after mikveh immersion at the end of a woman's menstrual cycle could take off on a large scale. Just look at what effect Oprah had on book clubs!

Ivanka Trump's "Flowers" Is Really a Lulav

There were two funny things about the photos of Ivanka Trump (The Donald's daughter) and her husband Jared Kushner taken in New York this past week.

First is the fact that the well-to-do couple wouldn't be using a fancy etrog holder. As Kushner was pushing their baby daughter Arabella Rose on the second day of Sukkot, he was also carrying a lulav and etrog. One would think that Donald Trump's daughter and son-in-law would have a nice silver etrog carrying case, but it appears that the Kushner-Trump couple is sporting the simple cardboard box etrog carrying case along with the plastic bag the lulav comes in.

The second funny thing is that the Daily Mail first published this photo over the weekend in its online edition explaining that "Jared, wearing a casual black jacket, pushed little Arabella Rose's pram along the streets on their way to lunch. He also held some flowers in one hand - perhaps a gift for his wife." I suppose you could combine a palm branch with some myrtle and willow branches to form a bouquet of sorts, but I don't think it's a popular gift for ones wife.

There was no word on where the couple was headed for yuntif lunch or if they had their own sukkah outside of their Manhattan home.

Trump, the billionaire heiress and model, and Kushner were married by Rabbi Haskel Lookstein, who also worked with Trump through her yearlong conversion to Judaism. Kushner is the publisher of the New York Observer.

Kippah Your Head Covering Outta My Office

Kippah. Yarmulke. Beanie. Skullcap. You can call it whatever you want, but the Jewish head covering has been in the news and in pop culture a lot lately.

The New York Post reports that an Italian man is suing McKinsey & Co., the international consulting firm, claiming he was fired after repeatedly complaining to human resources that his colleagues made fun of his yarmulke. Ciro Rosselli claims in papers filed in Manhattan federal court yesterday that he wore a yarmulke in the McKinsey & Co. offices where he worked as an executive assistant and was discriminated against for it. I know there are several McKinsey & Co. employees who wear a yarmulke to work. Rosselli's case is interesting, however, because he's not even Jewish. He was wearing the Jewish head covering while practicing "theosophy," an obscure spiritual philosophy that maintains that "there is no higher religion than truth."

Rosselli's colleagues at McKinsey & Co. gave him a hard time about his kippah. He claims his boss compared him to Madonna, the Kaballah-loving celebrity who has embraced Judaism despite the fact that she's Christian. Another co-worker suggested that Rosselli was just trying "to hide his bald spot." According to the lawsuit Rosselli filed, one co-worker said he wasn't a "real Jew" and another demanded that he "take that [yarmulke] off! You're creeping me out!" Rosselli's lawsuit seeks unspecified money damages from McKinsey & Co. for discrimination and retaliation.

The kippah has also made its way into pop culture. It's become more common to see actors wearing a yarmulke on television shows (Jeffrey Tambor on "Arrested Development" or Jeremy Priven on "Entourage) and in the movies (Ben Stiller in "Keeping the Faith" or Owen Wilson in "Meet the Parents"). But this is just to let the audience know they are playing Jewish characters.

In a recent episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," the kippah was the punchline. Like he did as a writer on "Seinfeld," Larry David draws on real life situations for "Curb" and shows how humorous they are. I'm sure that living in Los Angeles, Larry David has encountered middle-aged Jewish people who suddenly embrace Jewish observance. And that was precisely the situation he wrote for Bob Einstein, who plays the dentist Marty Funkhowser on the show. In the "Palestinian Chicken" episode, Larry attends a dinner party where Funkhowser, wearing a yarmulke, explains that he's recently undergone a spiritual awakening following his divorce and mid-life crisis. He has been meeting with a female rabbi each night who has influenced him to become more religious (saying the blessings before meals, wearing a kippah and even considering "Koufaxing" his friends by not playing in the golf tournament on Shabbat).

In this scene (video below), Funkhowser is about to enter a Palestinian chicken restaurant wearing his large velvet yarmulke, but Larry David and Jeff Garlin (playing Jeff Greene) won't allow it.



I started wearing a yarmulke when I was four-years-old at my synagogue-based pre-school, and then continued to wear it at my Jewish day school in Detroit and whenever I was in a synagogue. During my freshman year of college I decided to wear a yarmulke all the time. At first I probably wore it as a sign of Jewish solidarity and then later for more religious reasons. Today, I cynically joke that I wear it simply to cover my bald spot, although truth be told it probably has protected my head from getting sunburned every now and then.

Leo Rosten claims that the word "yarmulke" comes from the Tatar word for skullcap. However, I think it's more likely from the Aramaic "yira malka" meaning "awe of the king" as a sign of respect to God. Whatever one's reason for wearing a yarmulke, they deserve to be treated with respect. Whether you're an Italian New Yorker experimenting with many religions or a spiritually renewed Jewish dentist going to eat some Middle Eastern chicken.