GoPro, Wedit & DIY Wedding Videos

There was a time when having videographers at your wedding was a really expensive endeavor. The professional video guys would haul in the big rig cameras with special lighting and boom microphones. They would record hours of raw footage and then you'd wait more than six months for the edited VHS tape to arrive. After paying thousands of dollars you had a video with cheesy titles overlaid on poor quality footage that you'd never watch more than once (especially if you never converted it to DVD or a digital file).

Today, couples have many more options to preserve their big day. With the growing popularity of GoPro cameras, many couples begin their wedding experience by recording their engagement using a GoPro. These small cameras can easily be attached to the forehead or chest, or held on a long selfie stick to capture the intimate moment of a marriage proposal. Rather than having a friend come along to video the proposal or hiring a professional, the GoPro maintains the intimacy of the moment while still allowing it to be captured for posterity.

Brides and grooms have also recognized that a videographer only captures so many hours of the wedding weekend. If a video crew is hired for the ceremony and reception, they won't have any footage from the rehearsal dinner or those special moments at the after-party. There are also many wonderful moments that will be missed with only one or two camera operators at the wedding. When GoPro cameras are distributed to random guests and they're asked to capture as much footage as they can throughout the weekend, you're sure to get some quality moments that otherwise would have been missed.

A GoPro is a POV (point of view) camera meaning that it shows exactly what the person wearing it sees. That gives a different perspective than traditional wedding videos which are taken from static tripods or on the shoulder of a videographer. The aerial advantage points and wide-angle shots will lead to a unique finished product. There are also features on the GoPro like time-lapse video that will let the guests have fun while recording. Some find the footage from a GoPro to be nauseating due to the bounciness, but GoPro's Karma Grip fixes that with its stabilization ability. Encouraging guests to pass the GoPro cameras to each other will guarantee many different points of view throughout the weekend and allow the wedding couple to see their event through their guests' eyes. It is also fun to plant GoPros around the wedding ceremony and reception (they can be hidden in the flowers of a wedding bouquet or at the bar) to give a fun perspective on the event.

As a rabbi who officiates a lot of weddings I have seen a trend toward DIY videography. In some cases, it's a coordinated activity like giving out several GoPro cameras, but in other cases, it's the guests doing what they do naturally -- using their mobile phones to record video and take photos of the wedding. Many brides and grooms have told me that it's not a matter of cost, but they realize there will be so many wannabe Steven Spielbergs in the crowd that they are confident they'll get enough cellphone footage that they don't need to spend any extra funds on professional videographers.

Ginnifer Goodwin's Missing Wedding Ketubah

As I reflect on my first ten years of being a rabbi (it's amazing how time flies), I have to put wedding officiation at the top of my list of favorite things to do. In fact, I consider wedding officiation as more of a perk of being a rabbi rather than a task. Standing with couples under their wedding chuppah as they begin their married life together is truly a highlight of my rabbinate.

As an art lover I also enjoy seeing the beautiful ketubah (wedding contract) that a couple selects. These ketubahs are usually the first major art purchase a young couple makes and they hang with pride in the couple's home. Before affixing my signature to the ketubah I always take a few moments to look at the creative design, which tells me quite a bit about the couple.

Actress Ginnifer Goodwin explains what a wedding ketubah is on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Last week the ketubah went mainstream with more than just a passing mention on national TV in a video clip that is going viral. Ginnifer Goodwin, the actress known mostly for her role on HBO's former series "Big Love," appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" on Wednesday night. Goodwin, the Jewish actress from Memphis who was a member of the Jewish teen youth groups BBYO and NFTY, was asked by Jimmy Kimmel if she's Jewish. Goodwin, who last year explained that she only recently reconnected with her Jewish faith, explained that she is Jewish (her mother's Jewish, but not her father) and that her husband Josh Dallas is not Jewish. The couple stars together in the TV show "Once Upon a Time." The pregnant Goodwin told a very funny story about how her wedding ketubah went missing the day of the couple's wedding two weeks earlier on April 12, 2014.

Goodwin explained that her wedding planner called her crying on the morning of the wedding saying that her car has been robbed. "What could be in the car that actually would matter?" Goodwin recalls thinking. The wedding planner told her that the ketubah was missing and she started making phone calls to Israel.

Hashtag on a Wedding Kippah

Reform Jewish wedding, Conservative Jewish wedding or Orthodox Jewish wedding... they all have one thing in common -- the personalized yarmulke. It's impossible to go to a Jewish wedding and not receive a keepsake kippah with the bride and groom's names imprinted on the inside along with the wedding date.

Well, these personalized kippot have been fairly standard for a very long time. Some Jewish wedding couples choose to include the Hebrew date of the wedding along with the secular date and some couples have their names printed in Hebrew as well.

For the first time I saw a couple include a hashtag on the inside of their wedding kippahs. Hashtags are used on social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook. Hashtags are a word or phrase preceded by a hash or pound sign (#) that are used to identify messages on a specific topic making it easy to search. Oftentimes at conventions, conferences, events and sports games a hashtag is recommended so users can follow the related posts.

Brian Stelter and Jamie Shupak's wedding kippah with the #thestelters hashtag

Pew Study and the JDate Effect on Intermarriage

While many Jewish leaders have been bemoaning the results of the 200-plus page report from the Pew Research Center about the current state of Jewish Americans, I have been trying to extract some positive from the numbers. Of course, like any study, the numbers don't tell the whole story. Anecdotal information is a much better guide to measure the health of the Jewish community.

Just looking at the numbers and the graphs of the recently released Pew Research study as it relates to intermarriage is alarming. However, the statistics really aren't too surprising when put in the context of the ever-changing community in which we live. What is noteworthy, however, is that on the intermarriage grid within the study from 1999 going forward, the intermarriage rate actually tapered off. Iit's interesting how that's right around the time when JDate.com really caught on among Jewish singles.

Wedding Websites and Apps Are New Buzz

Couples about to be married can add  a "Wedsite" to their pre-wedding to-do list. Not too long ago wedding guests had to make a phone call to inquire where the couple was registered for gifts. They didn’t know much about what to expect at the wedding. And they likely had to wait for the rabbi to speak under the chuppah to learn how the happy couple had met.

Today, it’s become standard operating procedure for couples to publish a website in the months leading up to the wedding. These websites — also known as “wedsites” — started off as basic one-page sites on the Web that included a few photos of the couple, the wedding date and location, and a guest book. Fast forward to 2013 and many couples now set up interactive sites complete with multimedia slideshows and videos, meet the bridal party pages, shopping portals to the gift registry, video clips of the band at past weddings, and surveys about what songs the guests want to hear.

Savvy Auntie Blessings

There is something very special about an aunt and uncle's relationship with their nieces and nephews. No one has demonstrated the importance of the relationship between an aunt and her nieces and nephews better than Melanie Notkin, who launched SavvyAuntie.com. Here is the second column I have published on the SavvyAuntie.com blog and it is in honor of my children's Aunt Stephanie:


Blessing my children is something I do every Friday night before we begin our family Sabbath dinner. Last week, I had the opportunity – actually the honor – to bless my children’s Savvy Auntie. Officiating at the wedding of my sister-in-law Stephanie made me realize just how meaningful she is in the lives of my children. More important than being my wife’s sister or my sister-in-law is her role as “Auntie Steffi.”

Mark Zuckerberg Eats Kosher in Rome

I'm all for letting Mark Zuckerberg and his new wife Priscilla Chan honeymoon in peace, but I couldn't resist blogging about two noteworthy events that occurred during the newlyweds' Italian vacation.

First, the Facebook Founder and CEO took his bride to a *kosher restaurant in the Jewish area in Rome. The couple dined at Nonna Betta where they spent 32 euros on lunch. There's no word on why Zuckerberg decided to visit the Jewish section of Rome or why he and Priscilla chose a kosher restaurant for lunch.

Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan at a kosher restaurant in Rome.

At Nonna Betta, Zuckerberg and Chan ate traditional Roman Jewish delicacies including deep-fried artichokes, fried pumpkin flowers and ravioli stuffed with sea bass and artichokes. To drink they each had a glass of water and shared a pot of hot tea.

In addition to Zuck's decision to eat kosher ("When in Rome!") the second notable aspect of the couple's Roman visit was the young billionaire's failure to tip at the restaurant. Waiters at Nonna Betta reported that Zuckerberg acknowledged he was Mark Zuckerberg and then neglected to leave a gratuity. That's an odd omission from someone who's portfolio increases by approximately a billion dollars every time the Facebook stock goes up two points (since its IPO the stock has actually decreased by about 25%).

The restaurant receipt from Mark Zuckerberg's lunch at a kosher restaurant in Rome.

It's possible that Zuckerberg thinks that it's unnecessary to tip in Rome since he reportedly didn't leave a tip the night before at a dinner at Pierluigi (not kosher), a historic trattoria in the heart of Rome. In all fairness to Zuckerberg, it doesn't look like there was any place to add a tip on the receipt (above).

Perhaps Zuckerberg and Chan will continue to seek out kosher fare when they return to Palo Alto. On behalf of the waitstaff I just hope he learns to tip!


*UPDATE: Nonna Betta restaurant in Rome is no longer certified kosher. Tourists should consult a local rabbi regarding the kosher status of this restaurant.

Mark Zuckerberg Gets Interfaith Married to Priscilla Chan

In the run up to the big Facebook initial public offering this past week, the media went Facebook crazy and tried to get interviews from everyone who has ever been connected to Mark Zuckerberg. Of course that included the rabbi of his childhood congregation.

In an article on The Scarsdale Daily website, Rabbi David Holtz of Temple Beth Abraham was quoted about his memories of Mark Zuckerberg attending his Reform temple in Tarrytown, New York. Rabbi Holtz reminisced about Zuckerberg's family and recalled the Facebook founder's "Star Wars" themed bar mitzvah fifteen years ago. Rabbi Holtz also mentioned a congregational trip to Israel that the Zuckerberg family took when Mark Zuckerberg was fifteen-years-old. Rabbi Holtz called Zuckerberg a thoughtful and insightful teen. I don't know if Zuckerberg plans to donate any of his fortune to the synagogue of his youth, but hopefully, at the very least, he'll be willing to help the congregation improve its website.

As if this week wasn't already exciting enough for Zuckerberg with his billion dollar company going public, he also made a very important change to his Facebook profile's status tonight when he updated it to "Married". Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook Timeline now features the headline "Married Priscilla Chan" (with over 1 million likes). With that update, Zuckerberg is added to the list of famous Jews who have married outside of the faith.

Apparently the timing of the wedding had no connection to Facebook's IPO. Rather, the couple was waiting for Priscilla Chan to graduate from medical school at the University of California San Francisco. Zuckerberg's bride graduated on Monday from UCSF Medical School, which was coincidentally Zuckerberg's 28th birthday.

Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan were married earlier today in a small ceremony in the backyard of his Palo Alto home. There is no word yet on who officiated the ceremony. However, I know the family has a nice relationship with Rabbi Laura Baum of Congregation Beth Adam and OurJewishCommunity.org (she's also my colleague through the CLAL Rabbi's Without Borders fellowship). Rabbi Baum officiated at the bris of Mark Zuckerberg's nephew Asher a year ago. It is possible that Rabbi Baum officiated at the wedding through her connection with Zuckerberg's sister and brother-in-law Randi Zuckerberg and Brent Tworetzky.

As an adult Mark Zuckerberg has claimed he is an atheist, so it is also possible that his wedding ceremony was not officiated by a rabbi, but was a completely secular ceremony conducted by a justice of the peace, or even a friend who became licensed in California for the occasion.

According to the AP, the wedding guests all thought they were coming to celebrate Priscilla Chan's graduation from medical school, but were told after they arrived that the event was in fact a wedding. From the wedding photo released by Facebook, it does not appear that Mark Zuckerberg was wearing a yarmulke as he did at his sister Randi's wedding to Tworetzky on a beach a few years ago.

I'm sure that more information will be released about Zuckerberg's wedding this coming week. Of course, the big question for the Jewish community will be whether Zuckerberg and Chan plan to raise their future children in the Jewish faith. In other words, will a future Zuckerberg heir also have a "Star Wars" themed bar mitzvah?

Is Drew Barrymore Jewish? No, But She's Converting to Judaism with Adam Sandler's Help

Cross-posted to the Community Next blog

Is Drew Barrymore Jewish? The answer is that she currently is not, but she appears to be interested in converting to the Jewish faith. She is engaged to marry Will Kopelman this year.

While many non-Jews preparing for conversion to Judaism reach out to rabbis or Jewish friends for guidance, Drew Barrymore has sought out a colleague who has been an Israeli hair stylist, a water boy, a hockey player/golfer, and a surrogate father. Yep, Adam Sandler is reportedly offering guidance to Barrymore during the transition to the Jewish people.

Perhaps Drew Barrymore will hear her name in the next version of Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song, which would be the fourth installment in Sandler's humorous song that lists Hollywood's Jews who celebrate Hanukkah.

The celebrity gossip magazine In Touch Weekly reported that Sandler might even play a major role at Drew Barrymore's wedding:

According to insiders, Drew Barrymore wants her favorite co-star Adam Sandler to be her best man when she marries fiancé Will Kopelman in a traditional Jewish ceremony later this year.

In fact, Adam and 36-year-old Drew have grown so close while working on several movies together that "he's even helping her with the process of converting to Judaism," a source tells In Touch.

"Those two absolutely adore each other, so it only made sense to Drew that he will be right by her side playing an important role at her wedding."

Although her rep denies the story, Drew, who has gotten very close to Will's family, has told them she will raise their children Jewish, says the friend.

Unlike her experience with Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore probably didn't have to go through 50 First Dates before becoming engaged to Kopelman. But there is a good chance that her best man will also be the Wedding Singer on her big day!

For now, she'll likely be studying in anticipation of her conversion. When Drew Barrymore makes it official and converts to Judaism, coming up with fun headlines will not be a challenge. "Barrymore Becomes Drewish" or "Drew A Jew" are two of my favorites.

Yes, An Orthodox Rabbi Can "Do" a Commitment Ceremony

Co-written by Rabbi Jason Miller and Rabbi Menachem Creditor

Our colleague and teacher, Rabbi Steve Greenberg, is an Orthodox rabbi who will go down in history as being the first Orthodox rabbi to officiate a Jewish commitment ceremony and civil marriage for two men. In a recent article in The Jewish Week, Rabbi Greenberg explained that this ceremony which took place in Washington D.C. was not a "gay Orthodox wedding" as was sensationally reported. He wrote, "I officiated at a ceremony that celebrated the decision of two men to commit to each other in love and to do so in binding fashion before family and friends. Though it was a legal marriage according to the laws of the District of Columbia, as far as Orthodox Jewish law (halacha) is concerned, there was no kiddushin (Jewish wedding ceremony) performed."

Rabbi Reuven Spolter responded to Rabbi Greenberg's actions in a blog post "Why Has My Yeshiva Not Revoked Steven Greenberg's Semichah?" We write this as a response to Rabbi Spolter.

As two Conservative rabbis who were both ordained at the same rabbinical seminary, we also regard our semicha (rabbinical ordination) as a special honor whose legitimacy must be preserved. Like Rabbi Spolter and Rabbi Bernard Revel before him, we would hope that our rabbinical seminary would take back the semicha of a colleague who grossly violated either Torah law or civil law. However, Rabbi Spolter is mistaken in his characterization of Rabbi Steve Greenberg's writings and actions.

Rabbi Greenberg has neither violated Torah law or civil law. He has used his rabbinate to help right a wrong. In officiating at a same-sex commitment ceremony between two men, Rabbi Greenberg may not have acted in a way that fits Rabbi Spolter's belief structure, but he also did not violated any laws. The "to'eva" (abomination) in Leviticus speaks to a sexual act. No where does it discuss a life-cycle ceremony drawing upon the language of our sacred tradition to bless a relationship between two souls.

As to Rabbi Spolter's concern with Rabbi Greenberg using the title "Orthodox Rabbi" (or more specifically: "Modern Orthodox Rabbi"), he should know that "Orthodox Rabbi" is not a halachic (Jewish legal) term. Rabbi Spolter would be hard pressed to point to any text in the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) in which the term "Orthodox Rabbi" is used. We are certain that rabbis in Agudath Israel of American (Haredi) do not consider Chovevei Torah (Open Orthodox) musmachim (ordainees) to be legitimate "Orthodox Rabbis". I'm sure that any graduate of Yeshiva University's Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary (RIETS), like Rabbi Spolter and Rabbi Greenberg, wouldn't want to be lumped together with the "Orthodox Rabbis" of Neturei Karta (anti-Zionist Haredi). These are political distinctions with religious implications, but they are not halachic categories.

Rabbi Greenberg IS an Orthodox Rabbi in the sense that he received his semicha from RIETS. The way he uses his semicha is not "vulgar," as you put it. To the contrary. Standing under the chuppah (wedding canopy) with two men who have committed to spend their lives together, raise a family and grow old with each other in a loving way does not negate a person's ability to call himself an "Orthodox Rabbi." Yeshiva University or RIETS could certainly yank Rabbi Greenberg's semicha, but it wouldn't be for a violation of halacha. Rather, it would be for his violating a social norm that makes some Jews like Rabbi Spolter uncomfortable.

The role of Judaism has always been to raise the mundane to touch the sacred. God's world is full of opportunities for holiness. When two Jews find each other, and are prepared to enter into covenantal relationship, there is more than enough guidance that halacha provides to frame the moment. Furthermore, it is a responsibility we each carry as rabbis to stand with our People, person by person.

We hope that Rabbi Spolter and others will read these words from Rabbi Greenberg and try to understand why this Orthodox rabbi chose to courageously do what no other Orthodox rabbi before him had done:

Last December my partner and I returned from India with our newly born daughter. During the year of planning for her birth, I began to feel that I was failing as a rabbi to give young gay people hope in a religiously coherent future. As friends and students found spouses and decided to make families, it felt increasingly wrong to provide no context for commitment and celebration. Naming our daughter in an Orthodox synagogue and celebrating her birth there sealed my resolve.

While the condemnation of many is strong, I have received the quiet encouragement (if not always agreement) of a number of my Orthodox colleagues. While I do not expect other Orthodox rabbis to perform a ceremony of this sort any time soon, I do expect that we come to earn their understanding and respect as we take the frames of halacha seriously in the constructing of our committed relationships. In my view, the ceremony was beautiful, halachically informed and religiously meaningful, and I do hope that through consideration of it, the Orthodox community (and perhaps beyond) will come to recognize the human issues at stake.

We offer our congratulations to the two men whose relationship Rabbi Greenberg has helped to make sacred in our Tradition. We also offer our highest praise to Rabbi Greenberg and pray that he will serve as a beacon of hope to those in the Orthodox gay community who never thought they could be in a committed, blessed partnership.

Ben Stiller is Not a Patrilineal Jew

My friend and co-blogger for The Jewish Week, Julie Wiener, writes about Ben Stiller's opening monologue on Saturday Night Live this past week. Julie's "In the Mix" blog focuses on issues facing the intermarried.

I also tuned in to Saturday Night Live following a 25-hour fast and then watching my Detroit Tigers lose in their first game of the ALCS to the Texas Rangers. I thought it was funny that Ben Stiller opened his monologue with a Yom Kippur reference and stated that "My father's Jewish, my mother’s Irish-Catholic, which means according to the Torah I’m not actually Jewish, but according to all mirrors I am."

Julie used Ben Stiller's line to argue that not all Jews would interpret the Torah as saying that he's not Jewish. She's correct that Reform, Reconstructionist, and -- based on a recent survey -- many Conservative Jews believe that one parent is enough for Jewish status. However, Ben Stiller's mother, Anne Meara, actually converted to Judaism before giving birth to Ben. That means that Ben would be considered fully Jewish.

According to Anne Meara's Wikipedia entry, "Meara was raised Catholic in an Irish American family, and converted to Reform Judaism six years after marrying Stiller. She has long stressed that she did not convert at Stiller's request... She took the conversion seriously and studied the faith in such depth that her Jewish-born husband quipped, 'Being married to Anne has made me more Jewish.'"

True, there will be many who say that Meara's conversion was in the Reform tradition and might not have included immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath). It is, however, possible that it did include immersion and should be regarded as a kosher conversion. That would mean that Ben Stiller is not a patrilineal Jew as Julie Wiener maintains.

What is most interesting is that while Stiller (who is married to the non-Jewish Christine Taylor) should regard himself as a full member of the Jewish people because of his mother's conversion before his birth, he used his mother's former faith for laughs. And that is something that Anne Meara did for years in her comedy routine with Jerry Stiller.

Is Benjamin Millepied Jewish?

Is Benjamin Millepied Jewish? That seems to be the question of the day. Natalie Portman, who starred in “Black Swan” along with three other Jewish actresses all playing ballerinas (Mila Kunis, Winona Ryder and Barbara Hershey), will marry Benjamin Millepied and have his baby.

Rabbi for Weddings

Perez Hilton broke the news earlier today that not only is Natalie Portman now engaged to marry her choreographer from “Black Swan,” but that she is also pregnant. Now, Googlers the world over want to know if the Jewish/Israeli actress is marrying within the faith. Turns out that the French Benjamin Millepied is not an MOT.

According to the Israeli online paper Ha’aretz, the 29-year-old Israeli-born actress and Millepied, a well-regarded ballet dancer and choreographer, met during the making of Black Swan, Darren Aronofsky’s psychological thriller that stars Portman as a ballet dancer. Portman has been nominated for best actress by the Golden Globes and the Screen Actors Guild. Millepied played a small on-screen role in the film as a dancer.

UPDATE #1: While Cyberspace is buzzing about whether Natalie Portman's beau is a "Member of the Tribe" or not (ABC News reports his faith is unknown), New York City-based writer Marla Garfield is working the conspiracy theory angle. She wrote on Facebook: "I doubt that Millepied is even that guy's real last name. In French, it means 'a thousand feet,' and the dude plays a dancer in 'Black Swan.' That's just too ridiculous to be real. I bet his last name is Schwartzenbergerfeldowitz or something."

UPDATE #2: On January 29, 2014 JTA.org posted the following news about Benjamin Millepied:

French choreographer Benjamin Millepied, the husband of Jewish actress Natalie Portman, told an Israeli newspaper that he is converting to Judaism.

Millepied told the Hebrew-language Yediot Acharonot in an article published Wednesday that he is “in the middle of the conversion process.” He added that he hopes the process will “come to an end soon and I will become a Jew.”

Becoming Jewish is “very important for me,” Millepied told the newspaper.

The couple is in Israel through March as Portman casts the movie that she is directing based on “A Tale of Love and Darkness,” a book by Israeli author Amos Oz.

The couple will relocate to Paris, where Millepied will work as director of dance at the Paris Opera Ballet
Portman said in September in an interview with the French magazine Madame Figaro that she is interested in becoming a French citizen.

“I don’t have the French nationality, but I would be love to get it. But I don’t know if it’s possible because I already have an American and an Israeli passport,” she said.

Portman and Millepied, who have a son named Aleph, were married in a Jewish wedding ceremony last year.

Dancing for the Bride

It's no secret that Jewish wedding rituals have been borrowed by non-Jews. At weddings in which neither the bride nor the groom is Jewish, it is no longer odd to see the groom stomp on a glass at the conclusion of the ceremony. Gentile brides and grooms are now being hoisted up in chairs as the guests dance a circle around them to traditional Jewish Horah music.

The "Mitzvah Tantz" (tantz=dance) performed at weddings is a Hasidic custom of the men dancing before the bride on the wedding night during the reception. It is a mitzvah dance because of the commandment to rejoice with the bride and groom on their wedding night. The Hasids must have appropriated the custom because it is mentioned earlier in the medieval Machzor Vitri (compiled by Simhah ben Samuel of Vitry, who died in 1105).

In the Talmud (Tractate Ketubot 16b-17a), the question is raised: keitzad merakdim lifnei hakallah ("how do we dance before the bride?"). While the question in the Talmud focuses on the debate between the schools of Hillel and Shammai as to whether honesty is the best policy in the case of describing an ugly bride to the groom, there should be no question that it is an honor to dance for the bride on her wedding day. Today, at traditional Jewish weddings, the men sing "keitzad merakdim lifnei hakallah" while dancing joyfully in front of the bride.

Those words came to mind the other day while I watched the popular YouTube video of actor Lin-Manuel Miranda entertaining his bride, Vanessa, at their wedding. Miranda, who wrote and scored the Tony Award winning hit "In the Heights," recruited the bride's father and the bridal party to perform the song "To Life" from "Fiddler on the Roof." Neither the bride nor the groom are Jewish, but they managed to have the word "L'chayim" mentioned more at their wedding than at many Jewish weddings. While not a traditional Jewish wedding ritual, this production clearly fits the mandate to dance before the bride.

Interestingly, in recognition of his portrayal of the Washington Heights neighborhood in "In the Heights," Lin-Manuel Miranda received an honorary doctorate from Yeshiva University, which is located in that neighborhood. The actor, who also appeared in the TV show "House," is the youngest recipient of an honorary doctorate from YU.

I think it's fair to say that Lin-Manuel Miranda answered the question: keitzad merakdim lifnei hakallah. Mazel Tov to the bride and groom! Here's the video:

Rabbis' Attendance at Interfaith Weddings

My op-ed in the Forward last month has generated much debate. Many of the comments I've received, both personally and on the Web, have missed the point of my argument.

First and foremost, I was surprised by the number of heated comments by Orthodox Jews who were obviously critical of my position. (Note: I was surprised by the number of Orthodox Jews who took the time to comment, but not by the content of their comments.) Many of them erroneously referred to this as a Halakhic (Jewish legal) matter. I would agree that a rabbi officiating at a wedding between a Jew and a non-Jew is a Halakhic matter, but sitting in the audience as a guest is not. Yes, there are issues of mar'it ayin -- a rabbi seen at an interfaith ceremony raises questions of perceived acceptance, but attending the ceremony (or reception) alone is not a breach of Halakhah.

The issue I wrote about is an issue specifically within the Conservative Movement that only affects rabbis who are members of the Rabbinical Assembly (RA). My argument is simply that the RA should remove the policy prohibiting RA members from attending interfaith wedding ceremonies. Currently, the policy reads "Rabbis may not officiate at, participate in, or attend an intermarriage" (Rule III:d). I argue that officiation and participation are different from attendance and should therefore be separated.

Further, as every Conservative rabbi knows, the Vaad Hakavod (ethics committee) does not enforce the attendance at interfaith weddings restriction. In fact, there's a general understanding that it doesn't even apply when it's the wedding of a close family member. Further, the Vaad Hakavod does not go out looking for members violating the code. If they receive a report, they may or may not choose to look into it. From what I’ve been told (from a reliable source), no one reports on RA member rabbis attending interfaith wedding ceremonies. They do receive reports of RA rabbis officiating at said ceremonies. However, before they have the chance to sanction these rabbis, they resign their membership from the Rabbinical Assembly.

To clarify my point, I take exception with three facts.

1) The RA’s Code of Religious Practice lists attendance in the exact same ruling as officiation. Those are two separate matters and shouldn’t be in the same rule, let alone the same sentence.

2) I don’t believe that an unenforced rule should remain on the books simply to give its members an “excuse” when they don’t want to do something. A member of the RA who makes the decision (on principle) to not attend interfaith ceremonies should explain his/her principle when invited (or not explain the rationale and just decline the invitation). It takes backbone to uphold ones principles rather than using an unenforced ruling as an excuse.

3) While there are individuals who hold by the notion that rules are meant to be broken (especially rules that historically haven’t been enforced), there are individuals who strictly follow rules. Thus, there are Conservative rabbis who would refuse to go to their own child’s wedding (or sibling's, best friend's, etc.) because they are members of an organization that forbids such activity. This seems to compete with the concept of shalom bayit and common sense.

Overall, the feedback I've received from my colleagues in the RA has been positive -- especially among those colleagues under a certain age. Some colleagues in the RA agree with my argument, but wished I hadn't publicized the matter in the press. My belief is that issues such as this rarely change when handled internally. Already, discussions are underway to rescind this policy in the RA and this conversation is continuing on several blogs including Jewschool and Chopping Wood, the personal blog of Orthodox rabbi Reuven Spolter.

Chelsea Clinton's wedding has generated a whole new discourse on intermarriage for American Jewry, from Reform to Orthodox. It will be interesting to see what the future brings.

Chelsea Clinton's Wedding Guest List

Now that Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky have gotten married in Whitebeck, NY, some details of the wedding have been reported. The New York Times reports that the interfaith ceremony was co-officiated by Rabbi James Ponet and Reverend William Shillady. Jim Ponet, a Reform rabbi, is Yale University’s Jewish chaplain. His official title is director of the Joseph Slifka Center for Jewish Life at Yale, which is the campus Hillel there.

The NYT also says that the "family said the ceremony would celebrate and honor elements of both traditions. It would include friends and family reading the [Sheva Brachot] Seven Blessings, which are typically recited at traditional Jewish weddings following the vows and exchange of rings."

Genevieve de Manio

According to this photo the groom wore a kippah (yarmulke) and tallit (prayer shawl). The tallit is not required at Jewish weddings, though some grooms choose to wear one and some grooms choose to wear the white kittel (robe).

Supposedly a ketubah (wedding document) was also witnessed and signed before the ceremony.

Since a guest list hasn't been released, I decided to come up with a quick list of people I am certain were not there.

THE NON-GUEST LIST FOR CHELSEA CLINTON'S WEDDING:

1. Kenneth Starr
2. Monica Lewinsky
3. Newt Gingrich
4. Rush Limbaugh
5. Sarah Palin
6. Bill O'Reilly
7. Ann Coulter
8. Dick Cheney
9. Linda Tripp
10. Paula Jones

Israel, We Have a Problem

In the summer of 1998 I was a madrich (Hebrew for counselor) on the Michigan Teen Mission to Israel. This was the second teen Israel trip coordinated by the Metropolitan Detroit's Jewish Federation. I helped lead a bus of Conservative Jewish teens from Congregation Shaarey Zedek and we traveled through Israel with a bus of teens from Adat Shalom Synagogue -- another Detroit's Conservative congregation.

One teen on the Adat Shalom bus was Hillary Rubin. I had been friends with her older sister Kim in high school and quickly recognized Hillary as Kim's sister. I remember talking with Hillary at a Bedouin village in the Negev and immediately realizing that she was infatuated with Israel more than the other Jewish teens on the "mission." So, it was no surprise when I learned a couple years ago via Facebook that Hillary made aliyah (immigration to Israel).

This morning I awoke to Hillary's picture in a front page article on Haaretz.com -- the Israeli newspaper's online edition. Turns out she has gotten a first-hand experience of what many Israelis go through when they want to get married in an official Jewish ceremony in the Jewish state.

I know of many Israelis who board planes to nearby Cyprus to tie the knot so they don't have to deal with the Israeli chief rabbinates (there are two: one Ashkenazi and one Sephardi). The Haaretz article explains that Hillary is, ironic enough, the great-niece of a prominent Zionist leader with a street in Israel named for him. Today, she and her husband, Craig Glaser, are finding it impossible to register for a Jewish wedding in the JEWISH state.

Letters from four Conservative rabbis and a Chabad rabbi are not sufficient to prove Hillary's Jewishness. The daughter of divorced parents whose divorce was officiated by Conservative rabbis has probably complicated the situation. Her mother remarrying a Catholic man won't help matters. But the ultimate insult is the Herzliya rabbinate's demand that she provide ketubahs (wedding contracts) from her grandparents whose ketubahs were curiously not returned to them after they fled the Nazis during the Holocaust. Other relatives of her's were gassed at Auschwitz so the death certificates never existed.

I can't imagine this is what Theodor Herzl had in mind when he envisioned a Jewish nation. The great niece of Nahum Sokolow who lives in Herzliya (named for Herzl) cannot get married in Israel. This is a travesty. It seems that there is no longer one Judaism. The Judaism of the chief rabbinate(s) in Israel is just not my religion. They have corrupted it out of recognition.

So, in a week when all eyes in the Jewish community are on the high profile intermarriage of Hillary Clinton's daughter Chelsea who is marrying the Jewish Mark Mezvinsky, I would recommend that Jews throughout the world turn their attention to this Hillary. She might not have the Secretary of State for a mom or a past U.S. president for a dad, but she's become an example of everything wrong with the way Israel is handling religious matters. Something's got to change.

Chelsea Clinton's Wedding Co-Officiated by Rabbi & Methodist Minister

I have it on good authority that Chelsea's wedding this Saturday night at Astor Mansion in Rhinebeck, NY will be co-officiated by both a rabbi and a Methodist minister. But who's officiating at their wedding should really matter a lot less than how they will be as a married couple. At the first meeting with a couple before their wedding, the first thing I explain to them is the difference between a wedding and a marriage. The wedding is only one day in their lives; the marriage is the rest of their lives (God willing).

There has been so much discussion about the upcoming nuptials of the former First Daughter, Chelsea Clinton, that I don't remember this much attention to a wedding since JFK Jr. married Carolyn Bessette on September 21, 1996 and before that it was the weddings of the British Royal Family that made headlines. The focus for Chelsea and her beau Mark Mezvinsky should be on how they make a home together, how they raise their future children, and how they will work through the same hurdles that face every married couple (whether they are of the same religion or not; of the opposite sex or not; from similar socio-economic backgrounds or not).

My teacher, Irwin Kula, poignantly writes in this morning's Huffington Post ("From the Cathedral to the Bazaar: What Chelsea Clinton's Wedding Says About Religous Sycretism") that this high profile wedding is our society's welcome to the new world of religion in America.

Chelsea's parents were an interdenominational marriage of a social justice Methodist and a Baptist, which would have been unheard of 50 years ago. Chelsea grew up proudly within mainstream Protestantism, while Mark was raised clearly identified in a mainstream Jewish denomination. Their marriage is the next generational step in crossing borders -- from Methodist-Baptist to Christian-Jew. What is unprecedented -- wonderful for some and horrifying to others -- is that in this era no one needs to reject his or her identity to cross these century-old boundaries. Multiple identities -- in the example of the Clinton-Mezvinsky wedding, at least three different traditions being brought to bear -- is the new reality.

I agree. This is the new reality. What matters more than the Mezvinsky's Jewish heritage and the Clinton's mixed religious background is whether this couple will be able to live life together, share happy moments, raise moral children, weather difficult storms, and make each other laugh.

I'm a Conservative rabbi forbidden by the Rabbinical Assembly, of which I'm a member, to officiate at Chelsea's interfaith wedding. But I'm not blind to this new reality. The borders are much blurrier than they once were and more religionists are opening their eyes to this new reality.

I echo Rabbi Kula's congratulatory words: "Mazel Tov, Mark and Chelsea!"

Why Chelsea Clinton's Wedding Matters & the Celebrity Double-Standard

I'm hesitant to write about Chelsea Clinton's upcoming wedding to Marc Mezvinsky, who was raised in Conservative Judaism, because I want to respect the private lives of the bride and groom. However, when the bride is the daughter of the 40th President of the United States, I suppose she is classified as a celebrity and her wedding is fair game as a topic for discussion.

This marriage will spark conversation in the Jewish world about two main issues: How intermarriage affects the Jewish community; and, whether there is a double-standard in the Jewish community when it comes to the intermarrying ways of celebrities.

David Gibson, in his article in Politics Daily, brings to light the key points surrounding this wedding. The question of whether Chelsea Clinton will convert to Judaism is something that Jews wonder (from Jews who are vehemently against intermarriage and those who are accepting of it). This high-profile wedding will bring many of the implications of intermarriage to a more public forum, forcing the conversation about, among other things:

1. whether a rabbi should officiate at an interfaith wedding;
2. whether intermarriage really erodes Jewish continuity;
3. whether a non-Jewish mother can raise Jewish children;
4. whether conversion for the sake of marriage is genuine enough to count; and,
5. whether there's a double-standard in the Jewish community when a high profile person marries outside of the faith.

Gibson quotes my colleague, Conservative Rabbi David Wolpe, who claims it's his dream that Chelsea Clinton will convert to Judaism. Gibson also read the ongoing conversation at the InterfaithFamily.com website about Chelsea's upcoming wedding.

In a lively discussion at the InterfaithFamily.com website, one commenter said that even if Chelsea does not convert, a rabbi should take part in the wedding "if the couple agrees to raise the children Jewish." Another, however, cautioned that "this cannot be a Jewish wedding -- a Jewish wedding is one where both people are Jewish, either by birth or by choice." And yet another commenter gave what is perhaps a more characteristic answer: "I believe that Chelsea and her fiancé should do whatever will make them happiest."

In real life, of course, questions about the role of religion often animate wedding planning, given that so many young people feel freed from old prohibitions against marrying outside the faith, if indeed they adhere to the religion of their parents or any religion at all.

Last month I was quoted in a Detroit Free Press article about interfaith marriage ("Do Interfaith Marriages Threaten Jewish Identity?") and then took part as a panelist in a Free Press online chat on the subject.

After taking part in the online chat with Edmund Case, the CEO of InterfaithFamily.com, and an intermarried couple, I can only conclude that this is a very challenging issue because people's lives, and children, and feelings of love and affection are in conflict with thousands of years of tribal law. It's really about clubs and who can join and who can't and who decides the rules.

Regarding the Gibson article in Politics Daily, my teacher Rabbi Irwin Kula comments, "This is great article for studying just about every pathology in American Jewish life... an entire article on intermarriage and Jewish weddings all about its threat and not one sentence on the possible meaning of the ritual that might actually create meaning and value. It’s chuppah/Jewish wedding as tribal marker and intermarriage as either threat to the tribe or grudging opportunity to increase numbers. Why should Chelsea convert? To make sure we don’t lose her kids to our tribe so worried about our size!"

Some interesting questions surrounding the Chelsea Clinton wedding should make this even more interesting:

• The wedding will take place on Shabbat (July 31, 2010), so how will this affect whether observant Jewish (shomer Shabbat) guests will attend. Even if they stay within walking distance of the Astor mansion, according to Jewish law weddings are not to take place on the Jewish Sabbath.
  
• If Chelsea does convert before the wedding, will her conversion be disputed publicly by the Orthodox who will claim that a Conservative (or Reform) conversion isn't "kosher." And, many will question her commitment to Judaism -- didn't she do this only for the sake of marriage and how much preparation and deliberation did she put into this?
  
• If Chelsea doesn't convert, how many of the Bill and Hillary's Orthodox friends will attend the wedding anyway? Will their attendance at an interfaith wedding (and on Shabbat to boot) signify an endorsement? And what about Conservative rabbis who are technically not supposed to attend interfaith weddings? Will some make an exception for such notable nuptials?
  
• Finally, might this high-profile interfaith wedding turn the tides and lead to greater acceptance and sensitivity toward interfaith marriage? After all, as Gibson writes, "The main body of Conservative Judaism [CJLS] voted to allow interfaith families to be buried in Jewish cemeteries, and in March, the Jewish Theological Seminary of America hosted a two-day workshop "sensitizing" students to "issues of intermarriage and changing demographics." There is even talk of allowing Conservative rabbis to attend the interfaith weddings of friends -- and this just four years after the movement adopted an official policy emphasizing the importance of converting a non-Jewish spouse.

Chelsea Clinton's wedding is sure to grab headlines because of the main actors and the supporting cast, but in the Jewish world this wedding might just be an interfaith "game changer" in the hearts and minds of the Jewish people.

The Virtual Simcha

The first time I heard about a "virtual simcha" was in the late 1990s. Detroit was hit with a massive snowstorm and the 8-day old baby boy's aunt who was to play the role of rabbi was stuck at the airport in New York. The rabbi improvised and she officiated at her nephew's bris via speaker phone.

Of course, if this happened in 2010 and not in the late 1990s the bris would have been officiated by the rabbi through Skype, and she would have seen the simcha and been seen by the attendees.

Using technology to add people to a simcha is becoming more common. An increasing number of grandparents and great-grandparents are attending their grandchildren's wedding in the virtual world.

Just last month I officiated at a wedding that was being streamed live to Israel so that the bride's elderly grandparents could "be there." Through Ustream.tv, the grandparents felt like they were at the wedding even if it meant staying up late into the night in Israel.

Elicia Brown, writes in the Jewish Week about several of these simchas that would have otherwise been missed by family or friends, like the grandparents in Australia beaming themselves into their grandson's Brooklyn bris. Or Conservative rabbis Erez Sherman and Nicole Guzik who married each other in January with the virtual presence of Rabbi Sherman’s brother Eyal Sherman, a paraplegic, and his sister Rabbi Nogah Marshall, who was nine months pregnant at the time. A $40 webcam was clipped to the ark; a laptop was discreetly placed on the bima of Temple Sinai, allowing Rabbi Sherman’s siblings to view the proceedings via Skype.

A week ago in suburban Detroit's largest congregation, the Reform Temple Israel in West Bloomfield (3,400 member units), Rabbi Harold Loss and his wife Susie were honored for their forty years of service to the congregation and to celebrate the rabbi's 65th birthday. Over 3,000 people joined together on the beautiful grounds of the temple, but the many who couldn't be there in person felt connected as well. The Friday night service was streamed live on the Web for the elderly and infirm who couldn't actually be there. The Temple Israel members who were on vacation that day also appreciated the live stream. Jim Grey reported that he and his family viewed the tribute service from their vacation home "Up North" and felt as if they were there without having to disrupt their family's retreat.

Virtual technology is not only finding it's way into Jewish simchas. It is also being used to help Jewish educators extend their reach. Julie Wiener's Jewish Week article"For Hebrew Learning, The Skype’s The Limit" details how Internet tutoring is on the leading edge of use of technology beyond the classroom.

Skype-based tutoring — piloted last year and formalized this year at [Temple] Micah [in Washington D.C.] — is not only a convenient, inexpensive way to give kids personal attention in Hebrew, but it frees up time at the once-a-week school for other lessons, explains Deborah Ayala Srabstein, the temple’s education director. Micah is one of a growing number of congregations using technology to address two of the most vexing challenges facing supplemental, or Hebrew schools: how to teach Hebrew effectively and how to best make use of increasingly limited classroom hours. Whereas a generation ago it was not uncommon for children to report to Hebrew school three afternoons a week, today’s programs —which tend to serve overscheduled families and compete with an array of other extracurricular activities — often meet as little as two hours per week.

Virtual tools like Skype and live Web streaming are making the Jewish community feel smaller and allowing people to attend life-cycle events, from bar mitzvahs and weddings to funerals, that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to attend in earlier eras. These tools are also helping educate the Jewish future who are more overextended than any previous generation of young people.