Showing posts with label Simchas. Show all posts

Friday, September 27, 2019

Planning a Simcha in the Digital Age

This year will mark the thirtieth anniversary of my bar mitzvah. As I reflect on that memorable life-cycle event, I think about how much has changed in the planning of a bar/bat mitzvah since then thanks in no small part to technology. In fact, technology has improved so rapidly that much had even changed from my oldest son’s bar mitzvah in early 2017 to my twins’ b’nai mitzvah in late 2018.



The planning process for a bar/bat mitzvah or a wedding, including the hiring of vendors, has become much easier because of the web and mobile apps. This is true when it comes to wedding planning as well. From sending out invitations and getting responses back to creating table assignments and figuring out who wants the vegetarian meal, there is no shortage of applications to help make planning a simcha (Jewish celebration) go smoothly in the 21st century. There still will be stressful moments, but technology has certainly alleviated much of the simcha planning anxiety.

The creators of the web applications that help us plan bar/bat mitzvahs and weddings experienced the hassles of those endeavors themselves. It was that anxiety-producing experience that led them to find ways to disrupt the party planning industry using new technology. Let’s look at some of the innovative ways you can save time and energy planning your next simcha.

RSVPify – Managing your guest list and keeping track of responses can really add to the anxiety of planning a simcha. Now that it’s considered appropriate to use online invitations and responses for weddings and mitzvah parties, RSVPify has stepped in as the most advanced online RSVP website. With RSVPify, you can still use traditional invitations, but your guests can respond to the invitation online. This makes it easier to keep track of your guests. RSVPify also has secondary events management to help you keep track of additional events during your party weekend, like a Shabbat dinner, Sunday brunch or rehearsal dinner. Additionally, you can ask your guests custom questions, like whether they require a special meal or home hospitality for Shabbat, size of giveaway clothing, or who needs a ride from the airport. RSVPify also has clever features like a seating chart maker, built-in menu options for dietary needs and food allergies, and the ability to send reminder emails to guests who haven’t responded. Guests are even able to give a monetary gift or make an online donation directly from the invitation. https://rsvpify.com

Mitzvah Organizer – This website really has it all when it comes to planning a bar/bat mitzvah. It is created by Mitzvah Market, an online vendor directory that has ideas and resources for parents planning a mitzvah. The Mitzvah Organizer costs $69.95 and allows you to manage the guest lists for all aspects of the celebration weekend. The user interface looks like nothing more than a branded Microsoft Excel database, but it allows you to effortlessly manage everything in one app including table assignments, a candle lighting ceremony, party favor sizes, the song list for the DJ, the synagogue honors for the service, and many other things that are easy to forget. For many parents, Mitzvah Organizer’s budget feature will help them figure out which vendors have been paid and which are still owed, in addition to how close they have kept to their original budget. Plus, the budget feature allows you to compare the costs of different vendors. Mitzvah Organizer has predesigned reports that will prove helpful to stay organized and to provide necessary information to the vendors. Like most online apps, Mitzvah Organizer can be used on a desktop, tablet or phone. https://www.mitzvahorganizer.com/

Zola – Wedding websites like Wedding Wire and The Knot are nothing new. They’ve been around for a long time and continue to add more features. Zola seems to have taken what those websites offer up a notch. Zola is a free service and does not charge for couples to create a custom wedding website. The company does sell invitations and charges a fee if wedding guests use the website to gift money to the couple. In addition to an online wedding registry (something Wedding Wire and The Knot offer as well), Zola offers expert advice for weddings, like which venue to use and how to find an officiant, how to create the guest list, what creative innovations to include in the ceremony, which activities to offer before and during the wedding weekend, reception décor, and how to choose the right photographer. Couples can send updates to guests, have a countdown clock on their website, and post videos to get their guests excited for their big day. These customized wedding websites also make it easier for the out-of-town guests, as well as guests at a destination wedding, because everything they need to plan their vacation is on the wedding website. https://www.zola.com/

Mint – Although not directly related to the planning of a bar/bat mitzvah or wedding, Mint does cover one paramount aspect surrounding the planning process – money. The successful planning, hosting, and executing of any event is a feat unto itself. However, if you’re the one paying for the lion’s share of it then you may be left with the financial impact from an event such as this for months (or even years) down the road. That is where the Mint app comes in. Mint is a budget tracking and planning app that can help you take the guesswork out of planning and saving for any event. The app allows you to view all of your financial accounts in one precise, consolidated platform and allows you to track any income arriving or departing from your account(s). You can also view your credit score which might bolster or holster your plans on using a credit card to fund the event. Mint goes the extra mile by offering tips and informed recommendations on maintaining, saving, and/or growing your money. They analyze and vet thousands of financial services so you can learn how to find the best credit cards, choose a suitable high-yield savings account, pick a reputable brokerage, and so much more. Whether the Simcha you’re planning is large or small, being financially prepared to undertake such an endeavor will not only mean a wonderful celebration, but also a decreased financial burden when everything is said and done.  

Technology has changed so much about bar/bat mitzvah planning for the better and it’s done the same for weddings. Personalized wedding websites have dozens of features that weren’t even dreamed of when I got married twenty years ago. The Jewish people will continue to celebrate life-cycle events like mitzvahs and weddings, as we have for generations, but thanks to the Digital Age, we’ll be doing it easier and in a more organized way.

This article originally appeared in the Detroit Jewish News. Rabbi Jason Miller is a local entrepreneur and educator. He is president of Access Technology in West Bloomfield and officiates at weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs. Visit his websites at www.mitzvahrabbi.com and www.rabbiforweddings.com.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Raising the Bar for a Bar Mitzvah: Leadership, Questioning and Continuity

At the conclusion of the seven day mourning period in Judaism known as shivah, it is customary for the mourners to take a cathartic walk around the neighborhood as a symbolic return to the community. Many mourners have commented to me that this walk is a therapeutic way to clear their head and move from a state of mourning into the next phase of beginning to adjust to life without their loved one.

A week ago my family celebrated the milestone of my oldest child becoming a bar mitzvah. For our family, this was truly an event we anticipated for many years, if not from the moment he was born. Our son spent a year preparing himself to be able to chant beautifully from the Torah and Haftorah, lead the Shabbat morning services, and deliver a thoughtful and inspiring d'var Torah about the importance of being persistent as a leader. He was amazing and made us extremely proud of his accomplishments. For the entire week following his bar mitzvah, we were still reveling in the celebration.

bar mitzvah boy in synagogue with torah scroll


Yesterday, as Shabbat was in its final hours I asked if anyone in my home wanted to join me for a walk outdoors. The next thing I knew, my wife and I were joined by our three children for a brisk walk around the neighborhood for about an hour. It was the perfect way to reflect as a family on the past Shabbat, what joy we all felt as we celebrated this milestone with family and close friends, and a symbolic way to now come down from the clouds and return to reality. I pray that we should all experience such moments of extreme pride in our children's accomplishments and joyous celebrations for the future vitality of the Jewish people.

What follows is the sermon I delivered last Shabbat at my son's bar mitzvah:


Leadership, Questioning and Continuity
Parashat Bo

Together with my beautiful bride who stood with me under a chuppah on this very bimah almost eighteen years ago, I say zeh hayom asah Adonai, nagilah v'nishmecha bo. We are so grateful to God who has created this day and we will surely celebrate it with joy.

I must tell you that my intent was to just be a Dad this morning. After all, "Dad" is my favorite job! But when Rabbi Bergman asked if I'd like to deliver the sermon this morning, I was honored and decided that I would attempt to share some insights from our Torah portion that might convey just a fraction of the message I want to impart to my son. But make no mistake -- this is not me talking directly to my son. Rather, I hope you too will take to heart the three themes I share this morning. Three themes I believe convey a few lessons to us as parents.

But first a joke: A Jewish mother is with her son at the beach, a son of whom she is of course very proud as he recently passed his medical exams. Within minutes of entering the water for a swim he gets pulled under by a big wave and it's obvious he doesn't know how to swim.

Urgently, trying to get someone to come to her son's assistance, she screams, "HELP! HELP! My son the doctor is drowning!"


Sunday, March 31, 2013

Wedding Websites and Apps Are New Buzz

Couples about to be married can add  a "Wedsite" to their pre-wedding to-do list. Not too long ago wedding guests had to make a phone call to inquire where the couple was registered for gifts. They didn’t know much about what to expect at the wedding. And they likely had to wait for the rabbi to speak under the chuppah to learn how the happy couple had met.

Today, it’s become standard operating procedure for couples to publish a website in the months leading up to the wedding. These websites — also known as “wedsites” — started off as basic one-page sites on the Web that included a few photos of the couple, the wedding date and location, and a guest book. Fast forward to 2013 and many couples now set up interactive sites complete with multimedia slideshows and videos, meet the bridal party pages, shopping portals to the gift registry, video clips of the band at past weddings, and surveys about what songs the guests want to hear.