Parents are more concerned than ever about their children’s mental health. Studies show that social media use has a strong effect on our teens’ daily emotions and behavior. Rather than write yet another article lamenting teens’ social media usage, I invited my nineteen-year-old son, Joshua, to co-author this Jews in the Digital Age column with me to ensure it includes perspectives from both a parent and a teen.
Parents of teens are familiar with and use social network applications like Facebook and Instagram. They have also, in recent years, begun to use TikTok, the popular video application. However, Snapchat is different since most parents do not use it and are generally unaware of their teens’ activity on the platform.
Snapchat’s own annual reports explain that it is used primarily by high school and college students. The mobile application allows users to share photos, videos, and messages. As of February 2023, Snapchat has approximately 750 million monthly active users, 63% of which use the application regularly, and more than three billion snaps are created and exchanged each day.
Snapchat causes negative mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, in high school and college students, making it an activity that should be high on the concern list of parents, teachers and mental health professionals. There exists a worldwide mental health crisis among teens and college students, and the use of Snapchat is prevalent among this age demographic. Studies have been conducted to show a causal relationship between Snapchat use and this mental health crisis.
Many teens will be enjoying a fun experience with family or friends, and then experience a sudden mood swing upon opening the Snapchat application on their phone. The phone screen will display photos of their friends' activities, who they’re with, and where they are currently located using Snapchat’s “Snap Map” GPS (global positioning system) feature. The teen who seemed to be happy and content is now feeling lonely, anxious and depressed thanks to the “fear of missing out.” Commonly known by the acronym “FOMO,” Snapchat contributes to this fear by making it appear that others in the teen’s peer group are enjoying life more. The teen often feels that they have not been invited or included in a competing activity even though they were satisfied with their situation prior to looking at the “Snap Map.” Seeing what others are posting on Snapchat, the teen loses focus and cannot be present with the people they are actually with in real life (“IRL”).
This blog post is dedicated to the memory of my friend, Jason Zaks z"l. Jason's 2nd yahrzeit was this week and he loved tinkering with the latest EduTech toys. May his memory continue to be for blessings.
The kids have been back in school for a couple months and are back into the school rhythm. So much has changed from when today’s parents were in school. One major change is the type of technology our kids use.
While parents remember when schools had a few computers for all the students or perhaps one computer per classroom, today’s students carry a laptop in their backpacks. They bring their iPhones to school in a pocket and wear smartwatches. Their concern isn’t if they’ll get a good grade on a test as much as it is whether their phone’s battery will die before the end of the school day.
Parents today are concerned when their kids are spending too much time in front of screens. This might mean in front of iPads or TV screens for younger kids and in front of live-action, violent video games like Fortnite for pre-teens and teens.
Technology can be educational and used for learning math, science, engineering and coding. There’s no end to the number of educational-technology games and gadgets today’s youth use throughout the course of a day.
In addition to the technology they bring with them to school, they will likely use more advanced technology in their classes. Many schools now have robotics labs and maker spaces where students are using 3D printers and robotic arms. They’re even coding robots and video games themselves and now they can do this at home as well. For today’s students, there’s likely more technology in their classrooms than in an IBM laboratory in the 1980s.
Here are some edutech products I recommend for today’s students:
PRIMO TOYS CUBETTO PLAYSET – This coding toy teaches preschoolers and kindergartners how to code and create play patterns for a wooden robot. It is Montessori-approved and is powered by a revolutionary coding language made of colorful blocks. The playset consists of a friendly wooden robot named Cubetto, a physical programming console, a set of 16 colorful coding blocks, a world map and an illustrated activity book. Without realizing it, children will develop an early understanding of how coding works in a very age-appropriate way that will give them a head start on one of the most important skills of the Digital Age.
WONDER WORKSHOP CUE – Kids love robots because they are interactive and can be programmed. Cue is one of the most advanced robots on the market in this price zone (under $200). Children will enjoy Cue’s witty attitude. They can choose from four free unique avatars to customize Cue with a personality. Cue has three proximity sensors, Bluetooth and infrared interaction.
PAI TECHNOLOGY CIRCUIT CONDUCTOR – This game teaches children about electricity, currents and magnets through fun, imaginative play. There are 12 different electrical function blocks and specially insulated wires with which kids can build fun circuits and learn about electricity through a free mobile app. Scanning circuits to view electrical flows in real-time will teach your children more about electricity than most science teachers could. The in-game puzzles will enhance problem-solving and critical thinking. Like many of these maker games, the Circuit Conductor will help children with focus, concentration, creativity and hand-eye coordination.
KANO: PIXEL KIT – Children will be able to create and code dazzling lights with this impressive kit. Whether they build their own games, animations or art with this 128-pixel light board, they’ll be exercising their brains. A simple storybook guides children through building Pixel Kit, and then teaches them to code via step-by-step challenges using the Kano online app.
FLYBLOCKS DIY DRONE KIT – This product gives children a multifaceted building and flying experience that promotes lifelong skills. Kids love to fly drones and, with this kit, they will be able to build their drone, too. With the 4 in 1 Build N’ Fly kit, kids are truly immersed in all stages of drone creation and flying.
4D ANIMAL ZOO AUGMENTED REALITY FLASHCARDS & VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET – Perfect for children between ages 5 and 8, this augmented reality set of 31 interactive cards includes a virtual reality headset. This is part of the Stem-Based Education Series. The game is compatible with most smartphones, tablets and VR headsets.
A version of this appeared in the Detroit Jewish News.
Yesterday, I took my 14 1/2-year-old son with me to Toledo, Ohio, where I officiated a funeral. It was nice to spend some time together, but I also wanted to get him out of the house so he couldn't play Fortnite all morning. The new season of this live-action video game came out yesterday and that means that millions of boys his age were glued to the screen trying to get more "kills." At the baseball practice I ran yesterday evening, it was a losing battle trying to get these teenage boys to focus on baseball and not discuss their experiences with Fortnite earlier that day. In this week's Detroit Jewish News, I write about why we parents should be concerned with live-action games like Fortnite (highly addictive and violent) and other areas of the web, where danger lurks for our teens.
Here is the article from the July 12, 2018 edition of the Detroit Jewish News:
Protecting Our Kids in the Dark Web
Earlier this year, I was a guest speaker on a panel hosted by the National Council of Jewish Women. The topic was how parents and grandparents can be more vigilant in protecting our children from predators who lurk online seeking to abduct or abuse unsuspecting youth. Sitting next to Autumn Ceci, the Southfield police officer who investigates sex crimes and human trafficking, and a local psychologist, we each spoke about how the Internet has helped those who seek to harm young people and made it easier for them to hide behind secret identities online. Keeping children and teens from being deceived online is a very serious issue that can lead to human trafficking or sex abuse, both crimes that are plaguing our country.
Police detectives like Officer Ceci investigate incidents including sexual assaults, juvenile offenses, child abuse, neglect, missing persons and gang activity. I was prepared to share with the audience ways to protect our children when they’re using social networks and video games, but I was unaware of how widespread the issue of human trafficking has become in the Digital Age.
Online multiplayer action survival games, like the very popular “Fortnite – Battle Royale’, is dangerous as it poses severe risks to children and teens. The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) stated that they believed Fortnite was putting children at risk of online grooming. A news story reported that a mother overheard attempts to groom her 10-year old son through his Xbox videogame console as she sat on the sofa next to him. The mother heard an adult male addressing her son by name through her TV speakers, asking her son questions about sex. In another story, a mother discovered an adult male asking her 12-year old son to perform sex acts on him, and for the boy to take and send naked images of himself. These and other reports prompted many schools nationally to issue warnings to parents.
At the panel moderated by NCJW, it was clear that many of the parents and grandparents in the room hadn’t realized just how common it is for young people to be targeted online by predators posing as other people in chat rooms, on social media sites and in video games. I recommended several ways adults should monitor and protect children using technology.
My interest was piqued when I was recently contacted by Allstate to tell me about their new on-demand, pay-per-use roadside service app. After all, in a few more years I'll have a teen with a driver's license and Allstate's mobile app sounds like something that will give me some added peace of mind when he's driving on his own. When Allstate asked if I'd be interested in interviewing Jerry Ferrara ("Turtle" on HBO's "Entourage"), its celebrity ambassador for the Good Hands Rescue app, I was all in.
Jerry (it's difficult not to call him "Turtle") is now on the Starz show "Power" and loving life. Unlike his TV alter ego, however, he won't just endorse any product. He really seems to believe in the Good Hands Rescue app and I can understand why. There's no one who isn't hassled and nervous standing on the side of the road with car trouble. In the 21st century a car breaking down is certainly less common than a generation or two ago, but a flat tire can happen to anyone. During my interview with Ferrara I was reminded that back in the winter on my way to the airport early in the morning I hit a block of ice and got a flat tire. Even with roadside assistance, we waited for a long time and missed our flight. I had no way of checking to see how long it would take for help to arrive. Allstate's Good Hands Rescue app is a game changer.
This is a free app from Allstate that allows consumers to pay only when they need a rescue service, which completely removes the membership fee usually associated with similar services. Think of this as like Uber for roadside mishaps, as users can get real-time updates through a smartphone to confirm service and an accurate ETA.
As Ferrara pointed out in the interview (video below), more than half of the millennials planning to drive to their Thanksgiving destination will drive two hours or more and this increases the chances of a mishap on the road. As Thanksgiving approaches, Allstate's Good Hands Rescue mobile app will take much of the stress out of traveling by giving away $2 roadside rescues on the busiest travel day of the year, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (November 23). These rescues usually estimate $69 for a jump, tire change or fuel, and $99 for a tow, but all of these services will be just $2 on November 23, which is sure to help generate a lot of buzz for the Allstate Good Hands Rescue app.
You can pay per use and the Good Hands Rescue® service can be used by anyone, not just Allstate customers.The service uses GPS technology to connect any driver in need with a dispatched service provider, relieving drivers from describing their location and generating transparency into the estimated time of arrival. As soon as help is dispatched, motorists can receive a service confirmation with the roadside provider's estimated time of arrival and can track the provider's en route status.
Allstate's Good Hands Rescue service is available as an app for free (download from the Apple Store or Google Play Store), or via the mobile website.
The first time I officiated at a bar mitzvah was when I was the visiting rabbi at a young congregation in Virginia during my senior year of rabbinical school. I was a 27-year-old without children and not quite sure what to say to a 13-year-old Jewish teen. My wife was pregnant with our first child, and I was tirelessly trying to determine what advice I'd have for this yet-to-be-born child, let alone come up with some meaningful words of a wisdom for a teenager. I tried to channel what my own rabbi had said to countless bar mitzvah boys and bat mitzvah girls over the years as I sat in that congregation.
I don't recall exactly what I said to that young man in Virginia, but it was likely a trite bar mitzvah charge in which I said he's the future of the Jewish people, and I encouraged him to continue his Jewish education and the performance of God's mitzvot (commandments) as he walks humbly in God's presence... or something uber-rabbinic like that.
Rabbi Jason Miller giving words of advice to a bar mitzvah boy in January 2004
I reflected on that moment last week after seeing a question that came through one of the rabbi discussion groups to which I'm subscribed. A first-time congregational rabbi asked what other rabbis like to say when they have that special moment to speak personally to the bar or bat mitzvah toward the end of Shabbat services. Some rabbis chimed in that they try to focus on what a wonderful job the bat mitzvah did of preparing for the day and how well she performed. Other rabbis suggested praising the bar mitzvah for his mitzvah project and congratulating them for taking the time to perform this act of charity. These are all kind and meaningful sentiments to offer to these Jewish teens on the biggest day of their lives thus far, but the more I thought about it the more I considered that we rabbis should take a different approach to speaking to the bar and bat mitzvah teens who stand in front of us during what might be the most impressionable period in their lives.
Sometimes if you just look like you are supposed to be somewhere, no one will ask any questions. That was the case for me earlier this month when I heard Kevin Spacey speak at the AT&T Developer Summit at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. About a half hour after the conclusion of his speech I casually walked to a service elevator behind the stage and found myself riding a few floors in an elevator with Kevin Spacey after he had made an elevator metaphor in his speech. I suppose it's fair to say this will be the only time in my life I'll share an elevator ride with a sitting American president!
House of Cards actor Kevin Spacey delivers the keynote address at the 2016 AT&T Developer Summit
I thought of my Kevin Spacey experience the other day when I read about seventeen-year-old Louis Shenker. The Jewish teen from Massachusetts managed to sneak into the Democratic debate Charleston, South Carolina. Not only did Shenker sit in Bill Clinton's assigned seat at the debate and get on live television shmoozing with Hillary Clinton, but he also invited Bernie Sanders to come to the upcoming BBYO International Convention and serve as a keynote speaker.
In an interview with attn.com, Shenker acknowledged that he wasn't "qualified to [invite the candidate to speak at the convention], but I figured if they said 'yes' I would bring it to the attention of someone who was."
In a blog post, Shenker explained how he not only got past the entrance of the presidential debate without a ticket and gained VIP access into the debate. He writes, "One particular staffer asked if I was Martin O’Malley’s son and I said yes. He went and told some of the other staff that I was the former Governor’s son and I gained recognition based on my [unique and very loud] jacket."
Louis Shenker, a Jewish teen from Massachusetts, at the Democratic presidential debate
"I then continued to Hillary Clinton and introduced myself. I told her that she debated very well and that I wished her the best of luck and shook her hand. She said that it was a pleasure meeting me and commented that she thought I was dressed very sharp. It was at this point that the debate came back from commercial and there I was front and center on national television shaking hands with Hillary."
Of course Shenker didn't even realize he achieved his 15 seconds of fame until his cellphone began ringing with friends and family watching him live on television. His ability to sneak into the debate and then gain access backstage certainly means the Secret Service missed something, but it also goes to show that sometimes if you just look like you are supposed to be somewhere, no one will ask any questions. Whether Bernie Sanders actually shows up at BBYO Internation Convention in Baltimore in a couple weeks remains to be seen. If he does, I think Shenker will become the most popular Jewish teen in BBYO.
Those of us in our late 30's are the last generation who got through our high school years without social media. I still remember coming home exhausted from regional Jewish youth group events on a Sunday evening only to pick up the phone and make long-distance calls to the out-of-town friends I had just hung out with over the weekend. It was only a little more than twenty years ago that high school teens used the phone to communicate with their significant others because there no one had email yet. Everything is different for teens today. In my recent technology column in the Detroit Jewish News, I wrote about how social media has changed teenage romance today. Here's the article:
Teenage Romance and Social Media: What Are Teens Up To Online?
It wasn’t too long ago that teenage romance meant passing private folded notepaper in school classes, writing love letters and mailing them in actual envelopes with stamps, and waiting your turn to use the family’s landline telephone to call the object of your affection. When it comes to teenage romance today, much has changed in a short time.
Over 1,000 teens in the U.S. ages 13 to 17 were surveyed by Pew and more than a third of these teens reported that they are currently dating someone or have dated someone in the past. However, only one quarter of them have met a significant other online. This means that while adult Americans are using online dating websites, like JDate, to find romantic matches, teens are still resorting to traditional methods for finding romantic partners. However, as the Pew study discovered these teens are using social media at an increasing rate when it comes to flirting, asking out, connecting and breaking up.
For the past few years I've been reading a lot about what's become known as "Facebook Depression." When an old friend who has since moved out of town came to visit and told me she had deactivated her Facebook account (I hadn't noticed), I asked why. She explained that she and her husband had been struggling to have another baby and seeing so many posts from her friends announcing they were pregnant was enough to drive her insane. Rather than endure the abundance of joyful posts of healthy ultrasound images and photos of pregnant bellies and newborn smiles, she simply pulled the plug on her Facebook account. What follows is my recent article on the so called "Facebook Depression" in the Detroit Jewish News:
In 2004 when Harvard undergraduate Mark Zuckerberg started The Facebook he never imagined that ten years later there would be over 1 billion users on the social networking site. He also never imagined that it would be painfully difficult for him and his wife to see the happy photos uploaded to the site of their peers smiling with their newborn babies.
On July 31, Zuckerberg made a public post to Facebook announcing that he and his wife Priscilla Chan were expecting a child. While nothing would be unusual about such an announcement on Facebook – they occur every day – the Facebook founder and CEO elaborated on the challenges the couple endured in sustaining a healthy pregnancy.
“Priscilla and I have some exciting news: we're expecting a baby girl!” Zuckerberg continued, “We want to share one experience to start. We've been trying to have a child for a couple of years and have had three miscarriages along the way… It's a lonely experience. Most people don't discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you -- as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle on your own... When we started talking to our friends, we realized how frequently this happened -- that many people we knew had similar issues and that nearly all had healthy children after all. We hope that sharing our experience will give more people the same hope we felt and will help more people feel comfortable sharing their stories as well.”
It’s entirely possible that that Zuckerberg and Chan were suffering from what has been labeled as “Facebook Depression.” In their dark days of suffering through the emotional pain of their miscarriages, we can only assume that using the social network that he created became something of a torturous activity. Scanning through dozens of joyous memory-filled photos on Facebook of friends’ children likely had negative effects on their well-being. Each status announcement that rose to the top of their Facebook Newsfeed broadcasting another pregnancy or birth or milestone reminded this famous couple of their inability to sustain a pregnancy and produce a viable offspring – one they undoubtedly looked forward to showing off on Facebook.
Social Media gets a bad name when it comes to teens. Countless stories exist of teens using social networks like Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat and Twitter to bully, shame and insult their peers. We've heard of students shaming each other with unbelievably mean comments on each other's Facebook and Instagram photos. Even kids in middle school have been found to be "sexting" each other. All of these stories would lead adults to think that a complete ban of social networks is the only answer to end the negative effects of social media when it comes to our children and teens.
And then a wonderful story emerges that highlights the power of social media. A high school graduate named Konner Sauve found a way to exploit Instagram for good. During Konner's senior year at East Valley High School in Washington, he decided he would post photos of every student in his high school onto an anonymous Instagram account. In the caption of each photo Konner posted how he felt about the person.
Conner Sauve, a high school senior in Washington used Instragram to praise his classmates
Konner wanted to give some encouragement to each teen at his high school. He wrote positive, uplifting and motivational messages. If he didn't know the student personally, he did some research in the yearbook to find out if they played a sport, were in theater or had other interests. In the end, Konner posted 657 photos to an anonymous Instagram account he called "thebenevolentone3."
You know it's a good idea when parents lament that they wish there was something like this when they were teens. That seems to be the general consensus among adults when they hear about Camp Inc., the new Jewish summer camp in Colorado with a focus on grooming the next successful business entrepreneurs.
Many of today's startup founders grew up attending camp, but they didn't have an opportunity to hone their entrepreneurial skills or learn how to pitch a new business idea to venture capitalists at those overnight summer camps. All that will change this summer as the first cohort of young campers descend on a beautiful camp in Boulder, Colo., prepared to start their journey as entrepreneurs. At the recent Leaders Assembly, the Foundation for Jewish Camp's biennial conference in New Brunswick, New Jersey, three of the leaders of this new venture seemed excited about the promise of such an endeavor.
Camp Inc. seeks to provide 7th through 12th graders with a unique Jewish summer camp experience that will spur creativity and invention through entrepreneurship. The ultimate goal of this camp for budding business leaders is to promote confidence, independence, leadership and philanthropy, all the while encouraging Jewish values in a dynamic Jewish summer camp community.
Camp Inc. gears up for its first summer in search of the next Mark Zuckerberg
In the early 1990s I was an active leader in my synagogue’s high school youth group. Even as a young teen I appreciated the importance of communication in cultivating new members to the congregation’s chapter of United Synagogue Youth (USY) and for keeping current members abreast of upcoming events. This membership communication came in the form of photocopied flyers on colored Xerox paper, phone messages left on the family’s answering machine, and hand drawn posters attached to cork boards with push pins in the synagogue lobby. Once every two months we assembled a cut-and-paste newsletter to be photocopied, stapled and sent to members’ homes.
Teens and Social Media - sheknows.com
Much has changed in the past twenty years when it comes to teens and communication. Everything is now instant. Those mailed event flyers often took as much as a week to arrive in teens’ mailboxes, but today’s texts and tweets arrive in the blink of an eye. Direct communication, of course, has become easier as we’re almost always available to chat. No more leaving messages on answering machines as teens can connect virtually anytime using Skype, FaceTime or text messaging. Parents, however, are often out of the communications process in the 21st century. Each teen has her own cellphone to talk, text and video chat so parents often don’t know what their teens are doing or where they’re going unless they ask (or snoop).
For the most part, the growth of instant communication and social media has been a positive for teens in general and the success of Jewish teenage youth groups in particular. But despite the ways social networks like Facebook and instant messaging services have made it easier for teens to communicate with each other and for Jewish teen leaders to promote their group’s programs in more efficient ways, there are some very scary consequences that come with this high tech communication and social sharing.
I was looking forward to meeting many of the inspirational educators and thought leaders at the #140edu conference in New York City this week, but the one speaker I was really excited to meet was Lil Jaxe.
A few months ago, I watched a video of this 13-year-old boy at a previous #140conf and was amazed, impressed, and inspired. Lil Jaxe has a severe stutter, but he discovered that when he raps it goes away. So, it's a good thing for him that he's a talented rapper. And he's only 13 so I'm predicting that he's got a very successful career ahead of him.
Lil Jaxe presented before me at the #140edu conference today and I had a chance to shmooze with him a bit in the Green Room at the 92nd St. Y after his presentation. Here's the video of our discussion which includes him rapping the Jewish prayer Adon Olam as he did back in April at his bar mitzvah.
When I was twelve-years-old I took part in a Joe Cornell dance class with just about every other Jewish teen my age in Metro Detroit to prepare for the bar and bat mitzvah circuit. When my mother was twelve she also learned to dance from Joe Cornell. It's something of a Detroit tradition.
While Joe Cornell has been retired for many years, the company is still around (after more than fifty years) and has actually grown immeasurably over the past decade under the leadership of owners Steve Jasgur and his sister Becca Jasgur Schlussel. In addition to providing DJ services and dancers for bar and bat mitzvah parties, Joe Cornell still runs its "Learn to Dance" dance studio for the pre-bar and bat mitzvah crowd.
My own children are still too young to even be thinking about attending bar and bat mitzvahs, but I read with interest an article about a new program that Joe Cornell is running at local Hebrew Schools and day schools. Patch.com reported on Joe Cornell’s Mitzvah Circuit 101 gatherings, which teach b’nai mitzvah etiquette to teens. Attending bar and bat mitzvah services and parties requires a lot of social cues that many twelve- and thirteen-year-olds don't yet possess or at least haven't yet had to draw upon. I remember my parents teaching me the etiquette for responding to a bar or bat mitzvah invitation before attending my first one, but there are still many other aspects of good manners that these children (and they are still children) must learn.
“We were asked to speak to a group of students about how to behave, respond to invitations and socialize successfully and we jumped at the chance,” Jasgur said. “It was great fun – and the kids really got into the discussion of do’s and don’ts. Then, of course, we had to add an element of fun to the night, so we gave the group a taste of the kind of Joe Cornell fun they’ll see at b’nai mitzvah parties this year.”
“In preparation for the 7th-grade social scene, our dance program teaches 6th-graders social interaction and social responsibility,” Schlussel said. “This Mitzvah Circuit program is simply an extension for that 21st century cotillion-style preparation we specialize in. We all want our children to be gracious guests, but sometimes the lessons hit home more readily when conveyed by someone new.”
When I was a twenty-year-old youth group adviser I was asked to be on a panel that discussed teens' behavior at bar and bat mitzvahs in front of an audience of parents. I remember thinking how ironic that was since it was only seven years earlier that I was one of the misbehaving teens at these parties. In recent years, however, I have certainly noticed that teens are better behaved at both b'nai mitzvah services and the parties that follow. I think it's imperative that these middle schoolers are learning about the etiquette required at bar and bat mitzvahs as it will improve the experience for everyone, and I'm glad that Joe Cornell Entertainment has taken the lead on this.
This Shabbat, we read the final Torah portion from the book of Numbers, Parashat Masei. This section of the Torah begins with an extensive list of the places our ancestors traveled through on their way to the Promised Land. It details their stops and encampments as they walked through the desert wilderness eager to arrive in Canaan.
It's appropriate that we read this section of the Torah during the summer as thousands of Jewish children and teens are experiencing their own journeys at summer camp. For so many Jewish youth, the summer camp they attend is their Promised Land. It is a place of refuge they look forward to each year.
In the Torah, there is precedent for Jewish camping. In Genesis, we learn that our patriarch Jacob must have attended sleep-away camp for it says: "Jacob slept at camp" (v’hu lan balilah hahu bamachaneh) (Gen. 32:22). And in Exodus, when the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, the Torah teaches that Moses returned to the camp (v’shav el hamachaneh) (Ex. 33:11). And then, in the book of Numbers, we are told that all of the Levites go to camp (v’halevi’im yachanu) (Num. 1:53). And finally, in Deuteronomy the Torah even tells us “the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp” (ki Adonai Eloheicha mithalech b’kerev machaneicha) (Deut. 23:15). So there is clearly a long-standing tradition of Jews and summer camp.
Today, thousands of Jewish children attend summer camps like Camp Hiawatha, Camp Tomahawk, Camp Tamakwa, Camp Tamarack, Camp Al-Gon-Quin, and the like. A comedian once noted the humor of all these Jewish kids going to camps with Indian-sounding names. He surmised that somewhere there are American-Indian children spending their summers at Camp Oy-Vey-Ismier.
The statistics show that the Jewish summer camp experience has tremendous effect on children. A Moment Magazine study suggests “that children who go to Jewish camps come home with a much stronger sense of their Jewish selves. Community based studies across the United States show that Jewish campers consistently marry Jews more often and belong to shuls in greater numbers than non campers. Most Jewish professionals -- whether at the pulpit, in the classroom, or in the community-at-large -- say they discovered or consolidated their Jewish identity at summer camp.”
Today, our non-profit Jewish camps need our support more than ever. The majority of Jewish camps are non-profits and they simply cannot compete with the lavish facilities and stellar sports programs at the privately owned, profitable camps. We want our children to experience everything our Jewish camps provide, but we also want our children to be comfortable and to have an abundance of resources. It should be a top goal to get our Jewish summer camps up to the same physical quality as the best secular, for-profit camps, offering specialized activities in the arts, sports, and outdoor adventure; and, with a spectacular professional staff that is second-to-none. It should be a top goal for scholarships to be made available to any family who needs assistance in sending their children to camp.
To Jewish educators like me, Jewish camps are the canvas on which we can create future leaders in the Jewish world. Summer camp may only be two months out of the year, but the experience is for a lifetime. No longer can we keep our eyes closed to the importance of Jewish summer camps. For the sake of the future of our Jewish communities, let us strengthen our camps so we can strengthen the Jewish people.
Why shlepp your kid to the synagogue for her bat mitzvah lessons when she can dial in virtually?
A recent article in the New York Times shows how the tech savvy bar mitzvah tutors have taken to the Web to make the process more convenient for them and their students.
If dating, shopping and watching TV can be revolutionized by the Internet, why should bar and bat mitzvahs be immune? Parents who once might have turned to their local synagogue for Hebrew lessons and spiritual guidance are now turning to Google, where a quick search on “bar mitzvah” turns up sites like MyBarMitzvahTeacher.com (“the easiest way to prepare for your bar mitzvah”), barmitzvahlessons.com (“NO synagogue fees, membership dues, building fees”), and Jewish-Wedding-Rabbi.com, whose founder, Rabbi Andrea Frank, also conducts other “life cycle” ceremonies, including pet funerals.
Need to learn the prayers that precede the Torah and the accompanying haftarah readings? There are YouTube videos for that. At OneShul.org, “the world’s first community-run online synagogue,” the founders imagine Web-only bar mitzvahs, with an e-minyan, or group of 10, gathered via Skype. And they have a citation from Maimonides to prove it’s O.K.
There have always been families who bypassed synagogues for their children’s bar mitzvahs, traveling to Israel or holding a ceremony in a hotel. But, limited by geography, they generally worked with tutors who lived nearby. And while the new do-it-yourself approach has been enabled by the Web, it has its roots in demographic and attitudinal changes among American Jews, who are increasingly less likely to join synagogues, just as more of them marry outside the faith.
“Our generation doesn’t view Judaism as an obligation,” said Rabbi Jamie Korngold, aka the Adventure Rabbi, who offers an online bar mitzvah program. “It’s something that has to compete in the marketplace with everything else they have in their lives.”
No doubt, many traditionalists will find the idea of Jewish pre-teens logging in to learn their bar or bat mitzvah portion unappealing. Some will argue that part of the experience is the face-to-face tutelage with the cantor. Others will scoff at the change noting that if previous generations had to endure the hours of preparation in the synagogue, then so should today's generation of would-be b'nai mitzvah.
Of course, many will simply note this as one more way technological innovation has changed the way synagogues do business. And if 12-year-olds can log off Facebook for a few hours a month to learn their haftarah, then that's a good thing... isn't it?
Read the entire NY Times article, "Bar Mitzvah Studies Take to the Web," here.
We all know that Jews can rock. After all, you only need to listen to Bob Dylan or Gene Simmons of Kiss to know that. But there are also some Jewish singers who are rocking Jewish music... and I don't mean Jon Fishman leading Phish in "Avinu Malkeinu."
I remember in 1999 when the Jewish rock star Rick Recht came to the Jewish summer camp where I was working (Camp Ramah in Nyack, NY). He had all the little kids dancing and screaming like they were at an arena concert with 20,000 fans. Then he worked his way into a cover of a Dave Matthews song and had the teen and 20-something staff members hooked.
Recognizing that there was a need for an Internet radio website dedicated to Jewish rock music, Recht has created Jewish Rock Radio. "Jewish Rock Radio was launched to provide a mass communication channel utilizing the power of music to attract, inspire, entertain, and educate Jewish youth while providing information about a variety of meaningful engagement opportunities for Jewish youth."
The channel will expose new and established Jewish artists, as well as provide education for artists to professionalize their music and marketing. Recht didn't want to simply create another Internet music channel. He wanted to give back to the Jewish youth who have been his biggest fans through Jewish youth groups and Jewish summer camps. As the site explains, Jewish Rock Radio is also "for Jewish youth to share their experiences with each other about a variety of national Jewish programs in which they have participated; and, to inspire and create a ‘path’ for Jewish youth to participate in Jewish life as Jewish composers, performers, songleaders, and teachers."
Last night, I saw the movie “It’s Kind of a Funny Story.” The movie, based on the 2006 novel by Ned Vizzini, deals with teenage depression and suicide in a very real and honest way. I might have reacted differently to this movie had I seen it before the recent wave of teen suicides in the LGBT community that have made national headlines. Each of the four teen characters in the movie suffer from depression in one way or another. And while none of them is homosexual, watching the movie I was forced to consider the responsibility that I, as a rabbi, have in preaching tolerance and compassion toward the LGBT community to eradicate this epidemic.
The high rate of suicide among gay and lesbian teens has been brought to light in the darkest way possible. Communities have been devastated by the news of gay teens being bullied to the point of taking their own lives. The reaction to these tragedies has been mixed, as have the reactions to the reactions. For example, I’m sure that Clint McCance, the vice president of the Midland, Arkansas School Board, never expected the reaction he received after posting his anti-gay rant on Facebook. That a leader in a school system could make such hurtful and shameful comments publicly on the Web about his fellow human beings is outrageous. It is up to religious leaders to shift the national conversation on LGBT issues to one that prioritizes human dignity and compassion.
On Tuesday, October 19, as Facebook users across the nation were changing their profile pictures to a purple hue to publicize the need for compassion toward the gay community and in memory of the gay teens that killed themselves, another tragedy was taking place. At Oakland University in Michigan, where I serve as a visiting professor of Jewish Studies, yet another gay teen ended his life after being bullied relentlessly since coming out a few months ago. Less than a week earlier on Oakland’s campus, a lunchtime program sponsored by the Gender and Sexuality Center screened the film “Bullied,” a teaching tolerance documentary. The banner advertising the event still hung in the hallway of the student union in the days following Corey Jackson’s death, as if to say “Something more must be done.”
To show my support to the LGBT community, along with millions of others, I added a purple tint to my Facebook and Twitter profile pictures on Spirit Day. All of the responses I received were positive and supportive, except for the comment left on my Facebook page by a politically conservative Orthodox Jew. He simply added the link to a New York Post article by Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage, titled “Don’t blame me for gay teen suicides.” I read the article and then felt even sadder. Gallagher argues that she doesn’t have blood on her hands when gay teens are bullied and kill themselves. She conveniently shifts the conversation to the gay marriage debate, but at issue here is allowing gay and lesbian teens to feel pride and comfort in society so they don’t get bullied, fall into depression, and eventually take their own lives. Until this horrific trend ends, all Americans have blood on our collective hands.
My teacher, Rabbi Steven Greenberg, recently wrote a powerful opinion piece in The New York Jewish Week, titled “The Cost of Standing Idly By.” The first article of Greenberg’s I ever read was in a rabbinical school class at the Jewish Theological Seminary when he was still a closeted gay man using the pseudonym “Jacob Levado” (a reference to the patriarch Jacob of the Hebrew Scriptures feeling alone). Here, Greenberg relates what happened when he and his partner relocated from New York City to Cincinnati. Soon after they arrived, the rabbi of the local Orthodox congregation called apologetically to inform him that he and his partner were not welcome to attend the synagogue based on a ruling from another rabbi. Greenberg contacted the rabbi who issued the ruling and shared with him that “people who are gay and lesbian who want to remain true to the Torah, are in a great deal of pain. Many have just left the community. Some young gay people become so desperate they attempt suicide.”
Most people would expect the religious leader to respond to that last sentence with some amount of compassion, perhaps deep sadness. However, he replied, “Maybe it’s a mitzvah (commandment) for them to do so.” The speechless Greenberg asked for clarification and was told that what he heard was precisely what the rabbi intended to say. In other words, since homosexuals are guilty for capital crimes according to the Torah, perhaps it might be a good idea for them to do the job themselves. Wow! I wonder how many Jewish people will read that statement and question if this is the right religion for them.
Rather than let this uncompassionate individual silence him or force him to find a more inclusive community, Greenberg came up with a list of three steps his colleagues in the Orthodox rabbinate, and leaders in Orthodox institutions, can and should take at this time. He encourages them to sign the Statement of Principles, which says that “embarrassing, harassing or demeaning someone with a homosexual orientation or same-sex attraction is a violation of Torah prohibitions that embody the deepest values of Judaism.” Second, he calls on Orthodox institutions to sign a letter, initiated by the LGBT advocacy group Keshet, condemning bullying and homophobia in the Jewish community. Third, he states that Orthodox institutions must immediately cut off any support or endorsement of so-called “reparative therapy.”
I would take Greenberg’s call to action a step further and call upon all religious leaders, regardless of faith, to advocate for tolerance and compassion toward the LGBT community. We all stand firm in trying to eradicate the other stressors leading to teenage depression and suicide. Why should the bullying of gay teens be any different? This epidemic is only made worse by the inflammatory comments of people like the Orthodox rabbi in Cincinnati who proposed that it’s a mitzvah for gay teens to kill themselves and Clint McCance, a school board official who wrote on Facebook, “It pisses me off though that we make special purple fag day for them. I like that fags can't procreate. I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other AIDS and die."
At this stage it is no longer about the heated and divisive issues like gay marriage or “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” It is now a matter of life and death. Teens being bullied until they commit suicide isn’t a political issue; it’s a human issue. Religious leaders across this country: Please stand up and put an end to this national tragedy.
Email is like a cat. I don't know if it has nine lives, but people still use this form of communication even though it's been pronounced dead many times in recent years.
The general consensus among experts in online communication is that social media is killing the medium of email. Just as companies and organizations are getting pretty good at making their email newsletters look professional, it seems that more people are rendering email as the means of communication from a bygone era (sorry ConstantContact.com!).
As a rabbi who has worked a lot with Jewish teen communities, I learned a few years ago that teens had given up on email. To reach their virtual inbox, the communication has to come in the form of a text message, online chat, or Facebook message. For the young generation that's never had to handwrite a letter, email just seems too formal.
Once I noticed that teens were neither reading nor replying to standard email messages I decided to give out my cellphone number. All of a sudden I found that the communication with the teens was flowing via text messages.
I'm not saying that teens will look at an email account the same way they look at a Fax machine or a VHS tape, but they're preferred method of communication doesn't involve the @ sign.
So, how does one reach the target audience if email is dead (or at least on life support)?
Englin Consulting added its voice to the "Email is Dead" discussion by blogging:
"...the advent of devices like iPhones and Droids that make it easy to quickly delete emails without even looking at them, plus the spreading reach of social media sites like Facebook and Twitter, plus the email overload many people experience in their inboxes equals the demise of mass email lists as a productive tool. Facebook’s COO recently revived the debate, saying that because young people don’t use email the demise of email is imminent."
However, the consulting firm still maintains that email is an important and effective communications tool, albeit one that could use some strategic rethinking.
On its blog they offer three things to consider about your organization’s email list, including 1. Size matters; 2. Content matters; and, 3. Email matters.
Email isn't dead, although it's dying. A recent study, quoted by Englin Consulting, reveals that 58% of people check email first thing in the morning before doing anything else online. And mass email lists remain a critical and even growing component of many organization’s fundraising, advocacy, and education program -- one that still delivers results. However, that same study showed that more than 10% of people log onto Facebook first thing, 20% start with a search engine or portal site, and 5% head first to online news.
Businesses and organizations need to be more creative with their email marketing. Maybe social media hasn't killed email, but it's certainly giving it a beating... Don't believe me? Just go here and click the "SMACK" button.
I've long had a love-hate relationship with the Detroit Jewish News' "Cap & Gown Yearbook." Started in the late 1980's, the JN includes an entire section in one of its late-May issues devoted to the "best and brightest" high school graduates in the area.
Before I comment on this year's change in the submission rules, allow me to explain the love-hate relationship I've had. [Full disclosure: I cannot include the Cap & Gown issue on my CV.]
I loved the Cap & Gown issue when I was working at the University of Michigan Hillel Foundation in Ann Arbor. At the end of each graduating senior's bio (AKA "Brag Paragraph"), it listed where they were headed for college. The vast majority were either going to Michigan or Michigan State with a couple handfuls of Ivy Leaguers. Each year when the Cap & Gown section was published, I immediately tore out the pages from the newspaper and marked the incoming class of Jewish kids at U-M with my yellow highlighter. These would be the first freshmen I'd welcome to campus in the fall. Their high school accomplishments were listed right there. I knew who the Jewish youth group leaders were and which of these 18-year-olds had volunteerism in their DNA. The Jewish News was doing my reconnaissance work for me.
Working with high school students is a different story. They are already under such pressure to succeed in high school that making the cut for the Jewish High School Academic Hall of Fame only adds to the stress. Over the past couple decades, the standards for inclusion in the Cap & Gown section have changed. When I was in high school (Andover Class of 1994 for those of you scoring at home), seniors needed a minimum grade point average (GPA) and had to be chosen by their school. That meant it was much more difficult to be one of the top Semites at predominantly Jewish schools like West Bloomfield, Bloomfield Hills Andover, and North Farmington than it was at say Birmingham Seaholm, Detroit Country Day, or any of the Walled Lake schools (this was the 90s after all). In fact, I remember one of my peers from West Bloomfield High School complaining to the Jewish News that she should have been included even though her GPA wasn't at the newspaper's standard. She was the editor of the school paper, president of her Jewish youth group, and had a handful of other notable credentials. The paper caved and printed her bio the week after the Cap & Gown issue alongside her irate letter complaining of the unfair selection process.
In the past decade, the standards have eased and there are a lot more graduates included in the Cap & Gown issue. Only 40-some Jewish teens were honored in the first Cap & Gown Yearbook in the late 1980's, but last year's section included 224. Even with that many star teens included, there are still many talented and accomplished teens who are left on the sidelines.
As the paper explained in a March 2010 blurb: "[E]very year, whatever criteria the newspaper used to determine eligibility would leave out many deserving students. This year, the Jewish News is inviting every Jewish student who is graduating from a Michigan high school to be part of our new Cap & Gown Yearbook. Publisher Arthur Horwitz said, "We've grown from several dozen entries to well over 200 of our community's high school seniors who attained a qualifying grade point average. It has been one of our most popular issues and a keepsake."
So, the question is: Why after 20 years of a competitive process (on varying levels), has the Detroit Jewish News decided to include every graduating Jewish high school student into the Cap & Gown Yearbook? Here are some theories:
1) It's the Economy Stupid: It's no secret that print media is in hospice care. Newspapers are ending home delivery and magazines are closing (Newsweek was put up for sale just yesterday). The Jewish News has laid off most of its workforce and reduced the hours of those who are left. The Cap & Gown issue generates a lot of money from proud parents, bubbies and zaydies who take out paid advertisements to congratulate their graduates. I'm sure the thinking was that the more teens who are included in the Cap & Gown Yearbook the more ad revenue. And that's just business -- plain and simple.
2) Everyone's a Winner: In the 21st Century, we've become more politically correct and therefore uncomfortable to proclaim winners. The Jewish News simply doesn't want to be put in a position to say that this young person is an achiever while this one is not. It's not good for PR (or for selling newspaper subscriptions for that matter) when people perceive that the community's paper has rejected their daughter.
3) Whose Standards?: I'm hoping that this was ultimately the reason the JN decided to let all who have graduated come and be recognized. Ideally, the Jewish News has realized what most employers realized a long time ago. A person's GPA only tells part of their story. The many high school graduates who lacked book smarts but spent their high school careers volunteering with disabled children, working part-time jobs, and starring in school theater productions should be celebrated alongside the bookworms who carried 4.0 averages with little extra-curricular notches in their belts.
I'm sure that the Jewish News' decision to not exclude any Jewish teen from this yearbook was based on a combination of all three of these theories (and likely others too). After all, this also put the Jewish community's newspaper in the awkward position of deciding who is a Jewish teen. Of course, with every graduating senior being included, the Cap & Gown Yearbook will undoubtedly lose its clout. Will parents be as honored when they see their 3.9 GPA varsity soccer captain who's headed to Penn listed in the paper next to a 2.0 GPA kid who's off to Oakland Community College in the fall? We'll see about that.
The paper articulated the mission of its new Cap & Gown section, explaining, "In recognition of the achievements of all of our high school graduates, this year's Cap & Gown will be expanded. Think of it as a community-wide version of a high school yearbook. It will show the continuing vitality and promise of our community's future generation, and the array of higher education choices they are making."
I'm all for showcasing the promise of our Jewish community's future generations. I'm just wondering if the lack of a selection process will make this issue too heavy to hold... which I guess is a really good thing for both our community and the Detroit Jewish News. Mazel Tov to all of this year's high school graduates. You're all winners!
When it comes to Jewish prayer, there are two schools of thought: keva and kavannah. Keva means "rote" and refers to the fixed prayers that are set forth in the siddur (Jewish prayer book), while kavvanah is the free and spontaneous inner devotion of the individual.
Many Jewish youth groups and Jewish camps have tried to bridge the gap between the opposing principles of keva and kavannahby creating fresh and innovative prayer books for each service. For generations, Jewish teens, educators, and camp rabbis have spent hours photo copying prayers out of the standardized siddur and pasting them onto sheets of paper along with spiritual poems, catchy songs, motivational quotes, and clip art to make custom service booklets. The interweaving of traditional liturgical texts with hippie quotes and Debbie Friedman songs to create a specialized prayer book offers the keva of the siddur, but encourages the self-expression and spiritual spontaneity that is at the heart of kavannah.
Now the market leader in pluralistic Jewish youth programming, BBYO, Inc., has launched a web-based application to design custom-made prayer books. Build a Prayer, which took almost two years to develop and is being funded through a Jewish Funders Network grant, offers every text imaginable, from Hebrew, English translation, transliterated, traditional, and pluralistic. Service creators can choose from pictures, poetry or commentary, and then share or print the service for use with their community. MyJewishLearning.com partnered with BBYO and provided the educational content about Shabbat and prayer for the online Resource Center that is built into the site.
Build a Prayer isn't only for the teenage members of BBYO. Matthew Grossman, the organization's Executive Director said, "We hope Build a Prayer will be a valuable tool for the entire community; it is available to any organization, educator or teen who wants to produce creative worship experiences."
After a guided tour of the Build a Prayer site by Michigan BBYO Director Eric Adelman, I played around with the many features and found it to be user friendly, interactive and intuitive. As someone who has created many custom prayer books and song sheets, and who likes a crisp, clean look, I really appreciated how professional looking the finished product turned out.
To learn more about the concept of BBYO's Build a Prayer and to find out if the organization was worried that Jewish teens would miss the scissors and glue part of DIY siddur making, I posed some questions to Shayna Kreisler, the Director of Civic Engagement and Leadership at BBYO.
Who came up with the idea for the Build a Prayer site?
The original idea came out of the observation that at BBYO, we see teens and staff members creating relevant and powerful Shabbat services, but also feeling challenged since most of them have only experienced services within their own synagogue. This challenge is made more difficult since most teens aren't comfortable in a traditional siddur – they don’t know where services start and end, what to include or what is "safe" to leave out. To meet that need, these worship services are typically guided by a teen-designed collection of songs, poetry and prayers that is compiled through an effort of photocopying, cutting and pasting together old song sheets and prayer book passages. As an organization, we saw the need to provide Jewish teens with an accessible place to explore prayer and its meanings – doing it online also happens to save some glue.
Was there a "grassroots" push from teens to create this resource?
I think that we were really responding to a need that we had been hearing from the field – BBYO, because we are not affiliated with a movement, does not have one single prayer book that we all use. Each region and community ends up making their own or creating new services for each chapter overnight, regional convention, etc. The teens that I work with on the International level were having issues finding the resources online, so while they did not know to ask for it directly, it was certainly a need that was being presented in the difficulties they were having in finding the appropriate resources.
Who runs the site?
BBYO runs the website, but we work in partnership with other organizations (currently, The Foundation for Jewish Camp and MyJewishLearning.com) and are looking to build more partnerships around the website. We really feel that this is a value added resource for the entire Jewish community for a plethora of uses – independent minyanim, youth movements, day and overnight camps, b'nai mitzvah students, parents of b'nai Mitzvah who may not be as familiar with the Shabbat service as they would like, educators working with teens or other age groups, and more!
What has the feedback been from teens?
The teens LOVE it. We have received some really positive feedback about the resource and how it has changed the way that people look at the Shabbat Service. Eventually we hope to add in holidays, the weekday service, a haggadah, etc. Most of the feedback we receive is from people saying that the site is great and it would be amazing if it could do x, y or z. We take the feedback very seriously, and we are trying to respond to the needs of the community. I encourage anyone who has any feedback to email us directly through the website.
Was there any concern that teens would feel nostalgic for the old-style cut and paste prayer books?
The BEST part of the website, in my opinion, is the content finder. Once you start to build a Shabbat service, and choose your languages, the type of service you want to create and your prayers, you can start to add in your own poems, lyrics, translations, thoughts, videos, audio, images – almost anything really! And all of that info gets stored in the content finder for others to utilize. The more people add in their own content, the more rich the website becomes as a tool. We really look at that piece of the website as a way for people to share their thoughts and ideas and their creative work with the entire community. In a way, buildaprayer.org takes the scissors and paste concept and brings it into the 21st century. I really do not think that we lose anything at all – I think it really opens up the Shabbat experience in a whole new way.
It is difficult to find a siddur that really fits an individual's or a community's needs completely, but with Build a Prayer it becomes much easier to make a custom fit prayer book that will encourage both keva and kavannah. On behalf of Jewish educators, youth group workers, and camp rabbis everywhere: Thank you BBYO!
Here is the video tutorial for the interactive Build a Prayer site:
