White House Comedian Ari Teman Gets a Laugh Out of Obama

Ari Teman is having a great year. First, the Jewish comedian and founder of Jcorps wins the highly competitive Jewish Community Hero award. Next, he gets invited to the White House Hanukkah party. I'm pretty sure it was a legit invite and that he didn't just crash an official White House party like Tareq and Michaele Salahi did last month.

Seth Galena, one-half of the Bangitout.com duo, reported on Facebook about Ari Teman's White House experience. Apparently, he didn't just shake the president's hand in the receiving line, but actually used the time to tell Barack Obama a joke. The party was a who's-who of Jewish D.C. including an assortment of Jewish leaders from across the nation.

Here's the apparent conversation between Ari Teman and the 44th president of the U.S.:

Ari: Mr. President, I'm a comedian from New York --
Obama: Are you funny?
Ari : I tell jokes about you on stage every night, can I tell you one?
Obama: Sure.
Ari: I'll say "Obama" instead of "Mr. President."
Obama: Sure.
Ari: So, they're calling Obama a Nazi --
Obama: Oh yeah (nodding)
Ari: Which I think is fantastic... because if you thought the Presidency was a tough job for a black guy to get!
[Obama starts cracking up.]
Ari: ...Nazi... we have overcome! Mr. President, you have broken down color barriers.
[Obama, still laughing, shakes Teman's hand again and gives him a hug]
Obama: That's great!!

Impetus for Max Weinberg's Mormon Song

When Tablet Magazine published the article about Senator Orrin Hatch's Hanukkah song, Rabbi Jason Herman, who is part of Clal's Rabbis Without Borders fellowship with me, was quick to send the link to the article over our e-mail discussion list. Little did I know at the time, another RWB fellow, Rabbi Alana Suskin, was already thinking of a way to reciprocate Senator Hatch for his holiday song for the Jewish people.

According to the JTA, "Blogger Larry Yudelson posted a query to his fellow Jewschool.com contributors wondering if 'there are any special Mormon holidays for which we can return the favor?'"

That's when Alana, who is also Jewschool's managing editor, suggested a holiday song for the Mormons. The problems was she couldn't think of any special Mormon celebrations. Long story short, Rob Kutner (right) got involved. Rob used to write for The Daily Show and I've blogged about his hilarious Purim shpiels in the past on this blog. He now writes for the Tonight Show and thought this was a funny idea. So Kutner wrote the Mormon song that Tonight Show band leader Max Weinberg sings to "I Have a Little Dreidel."

After the bit aired on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, Kutner wrote on Jewschool.com: "It's definitely an interesting moment when Jewish culture is mainstream enough to provide a window on another minority religion's relative marginalization."

And that's the story of how the Jewish bandleader Max Weinberg came to serenade the Mormon senator Orrin Hatch on the Tonight Show.

Conservative Rabbis Must Exercise

Almost six years ago, when I became a Conservative rabbi, I knew there were certain expectations placed on me by my new professional organization, the International Rabbinical Assembly of Conservative Judaism (the RA). Specifically, they expected that I would follow the few rules they had or face expulsion from the Assembly. These rules were:

1. Not officiating at a commitment ceremony or wedding between two members of the same sex;
2. Not recognizing patrilineal descent (Jewish lineage from the father instead of the mother);
3. Not officiating at an interfaith wedding;
4. Not officiating at a wedding in which a divorced bride didn't have a Jewish bill of divorce (get) from her ex-husband, or in which a divorced groom hadn't given his ex-wife a get.

Well, with the acceptance of a religious ruling allowing Conservative rabbis to officiate at same-sex commitment ceremonies three years ago, it looks like #1 is no longer on the books.

Further, studies have shown that some 80% of Conservative Jews recognize people as Jewish who are the offspring of Jewish dads, but not Jewish moms (just as the Reform movement has officially done since 1983). My sense is that this will be the next significant change in Conservative Judaism, so rule #2 can't be far from being passé too.

Privately, I've heard there are Conservative rabbis officiating at interfaith weddings under the RA's radar screen. However, from my vantage point, most rabbis still firmly hold by rules #3 and #4 above.

The one RA rule I hadn't foreseen when I became a rabbi is that I must agree to stay in good shape and maintain a healthy diet. So, I was surprised to get an e-mail earlier this week from RA executive vice-president Rabbi Julie Schonfeld and two marathon-running rabbinic colleagues telling me to get to the gym pronto. Although, I must say that I do agree with the Shalem Campaign, urging us rabbis to make fitness a part of our daily lives and to eat healthy. The campaign, which is based on the President's Fitness Challenge, was picked up by the JTA in an article titled "Eat right and exercise, Conservative rabbis told."

At least now when I'm spotted at the gym in the middle of a workday, I can just explain that I'm following orders and trying to be a good rabbi.

Kosher Baskin Robbins

In time for Hanukkah, a few weeks ago my kosher certification initiative (Kosher Michigan) officially certified as kosher the new Baskin Robbins ice cream store in my hometown of West Bloomfield, Michigan. To show appreciation for becoming kosher, the store's owner (Stella Stojanovic) created these new Hanukkah ice cream cup


Stella's former Baskin Robbins location in West Bloomfield was about a mile from the home in which I grew up. Coincidentally, it was in the same strip mall as Marty's Pizza, where the late Marty Herman started making his famous Marty's Cookies thirty years ago. Those cookies are now certified kosher by Kosher Michigan too.

Max Weinberg's Mormon Tribute

Last week, I wrote about the Hanukkah song that Senator Orrin Hatch wrote for the Jewish people. Well, apparently, Max Weinberg (of the E Street Band and the Tonight Show) was so taken by Orrin Hatch's generosity that he wanted to reciprocate the favor.

On last night's Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, the show's only Jew, Max Weinberg, sang his Mormon tribute to the senior senator from Utah (with help from Conan and Andy Richter). The song is sung to the tune of "Dreydel Dreydel." Here's the video clip:

Details Magazine

I was disappointed a few months ago when I received the letter in the mail alerting me that my subscription to Condé Nast Portfolio magazine would be discontinued because the publication had gone bankrupt. But, rest assured, the letter informed me of my consolation prize: a subscription to Details Magazine.

To this day, I'm not sure how Details (a tabloid for the metrosexual?) is a suitable substitute for Portfolio (a source for "serious business journalism"), but anyway.

When the first issue of Details arrived in my mailbox with Adam Lampert, the odd-looking, American Idol guy on the cover, I placed the magazine directly in the recycling bin. I actually hadn't heard of Adam Lampert (or his music) when the magazine arrived (I think I'm the only one who doesn't watch American Idol).

When the next issue arrived with John Mayer on the cover, I figured I'd give it another shot since I've enjoyed his music for about a decade now. Before I even got to the John Mayer article, two items in the magazine jumped out at me.

One was this photo (click to enlarge) of what is apparently a metrosexual's bathroom sink counter on which he seems to keep his toothbrushes (pink and black, so maybe his and hers?) in a "Heroes of the Torah" drinking glass.

I'm not sure what is odder: the fact that there exists a set of glasses devoted to the heroes of Torah commentary or the fact that one of these glasses is being used as a fashionable(?) holder of oral hygiene products. It was generous of Details to inform its readership that one can procure the "Heroes of the Torah" drinking glasses at Fishs Eddy, where Torah Heroes shot glasses and coasters may be purchased as well (including one bearing the face of the great 19th century Rabbi Hildesheimer, who's name is misspelled on the drinking glass).

But the "Heroes of the Torah" toothbrush holder wasn't the first thing that grabbed my attention and immediately made me question this magazine's devotion to all-things-Jewish. It was the photo of the headless model wrapped in the Israeli flag directing readers to the article about "the rise of the hot Jewish girl" complete with the "Rise of the Hebrew Hottie Timeline," dating back to Queen Esther, Betty Boop, and Barbra Streisand.

The article, which carries the headline (and I couldn't make this up), "Naughty Shul Girls - Red-blooded American goys have found their new fetish: the smoking-hot Jewess," could certainly be considered modern day Antisemitism. The only thing I learned from the article was that Emmanuelle Chriqui, the actress from "Entourage" and "Don't Mess with the Zohan," comes from a Sephardic Orthodox family.

What I was left wondering was this: Why is Details magazine trying to compete with Heeb over Jewish satire. Oh, and also: Why was Portfolio the Condé Nast magazine that went bankrupt?

Hanukkah Lights

I once heard Rabbi Abraham Twersky tell a beautiful story that I found inspiring. As a young child, the rabbi explained, his mother would light one extra Shabbat candle for each child in the family. As his parents welcomed a new baby into the home, they would add another Shabbat candle. Rabbi Twersky recognized how warm it felt to know that there was more light in his home on Shabbat simply because he was alive. Certainly, his parents felt that the world was a little brighter because of their son, but this was a tangible way for him to embrace his importance and appreciation.

Similarly, on Hanukkah, many families participate in the tradition that each member of the household lights his or her own hanukkiyah. It is a way for each family member to contribute to the brightness of the Festival of Lights. Lighting the Hanukkah candles reminds us of the miracle told about the small cruse of oil that lasted for eight days in the Temple. When we each light the Hanukkah candles, we help keep this important story alive. Indeed, it is a story that is so much a part of our Jewish history and heritage.

There is something beautiful about the increased flames that illuminate from the Hanukkah lights on each successive night of the festival. A famous debate took place in Talmudic times concerning the order in which the Hanukkah lights should be kindled. The school of Shammai claimed that on the first night, eight lights are lit and then they are gradually reduced by one each night. The school of Hillel disagreed, arguing that on the first night one light is lit, and thereafter, the number is increased. Hillel explained that as we increase the light, we increase the holiness in the world. Of course, we follow the opinion of the school of Hillel.

The story of the Hillel/Shammai debate reminds me of the last night at the summer camp where I serve as rabbi and was once a camper. Once darkness has fallen on the lake, a torch is illuminated to kindle the large seven-branched menorah created by the late Irving Berg, long-time Artist-in-Residence of Tamarack Camps. The first candle is lit by the most senior staff members who "graduated" from their camper years in the late 1980s. The second candle is lit by those staff members who "graduated" in the 1990s and so on until last summer's class of former campers approach the menorah en masse, arm-in-arm, to light their first candle as camp alumni helping the menorah to burn brighter. With each successive candle of the menorah, the holiness and joy of our camp community is increased. The burning flames remind us that our history is rich with the commitment of so many people at camp and within our extended community. We are reminded that camp is our heritage. And it is a warm and bright feeling.

During this Festival of Lights, occurring in the darkest season of the year, let us reflect on the brightness of our world. Let us remember that the world is a little brighter because we are alive. If we all keep that in mind, we will also remember to look for the miracles in our own time.

An Orrin Hatch Hanukkah

At the end of the video, writer Jeffrey Goldberg nonchalantly says: "So it's just... all it is is a Hip Hop Hanukkah song written by the senior senator from Utah. That's all it is."

Well, even more than that, it's a funky Hanukkah song written by a 75-year-old Mormon senator who wrote the song as a gift to the Jews.

So, how did Orrin Hatch come to write a Hanukkah song anyway? The story goes that Jeffrey Goldberg (national correspondent for The Atlantic) "felt that the song canon for Hanukkah is sparse and uninspiring, in part because Jewish songwriters spend so much time writing Christmas music." He explains how Senator Orrin Hatch came to write a Hanukkah song for Tablet Magazine:

Ten years ago, I visited Orrin Hatch, the senior senator from Utah and a prominent member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, on Capitol Hill. I was writing for The New York Times Magazine and Hatch was thinking of running for president. We talked about politics for a few minutes, and then he said, "Have you heard my love songs?"

No senator had asked me that question before. It turned out that Hatch was a prolific songwriter, not only of love songs, but of Christian spirituals as well. We spent an hour in his office listening to some of his music, a regular Mormon platter party. After five or six Christmas songs, I asked, him, "What about Hanukkah songs? You have any of those?"

The article in Tablet got picked up this morning by the New York Times, which recognized just how many borders were being transcended with this story. "Adding to the project's only-in-America mishmash is that the song is performed by Rasheeda Azar, a Syrian-American vocalist from Indiana. But Mr. Hatch is the song's unquestioned prime mover, or macher. He is featured in the video, sitting stoic in the studio, head bobbing slightly, donning earphones and contributing backup vocals."

At the end of the video, the senator unbuttons his dress shirt to expose the golden mezuzah necklace dangling from his neck. The Times article also notes that "Mezuzahs also adorn the doorways of his homes in Washington and Utah" and that he keeps a Torah in his Senate office.

"Not a real Torah, but sort of a mock Torah," Senator Hatch said. "I feel sorry I’m not Jewish sometimes."

Here's the video of Senator Orrin Hatch's Hanukkah song being performed:



The man who normally writes Christian music was quoted in the New York Times as saying, "This song means more to me than most of the songs I have ever written. People need to know the story of Hanukkah. It was a miracle."

Senator Hatch said his ultimate goal would be for Barbra Streisand to perform one of his songs. Well, I'm sure seventy years ago many Christians weren't really sure what to feel when the Jewish songwriter Irving Berlin released "White Christmas." That's sort of how I feel now. But, a nice Hanukkah song is still a nice Hanukkah song. So, on behalf of Jewish people all over the world: "Thanks for the song Senator Hatch!"

Israeli Dog in Montana

Yesterday morning, my synagogue president did something he doesn't typically do. He read an article from the morning's paper during his Shabbat morning announcements. He explained that he was really touched by this heartwarming story from the New York Times about a police dog, a Chabad rabbi, and a menorah lighting in the Montana State Capitol.

As soon as he finished reading the article, I knew the story would be going viral. And indeed it has.

The story takes place in Montana, where in 1993 in Billings, vandals broke windows in homes that were displaying menorahs. In a response organized by local church leaders, more than 10,000 of the city's residents and shopkeepers put make-shift menorahs in their own windows, to protect the city's three dozen or so Jewish families. The vandalism ended thanks to the show of solidarity.

The NYT article, written by Eric Stern (the senior counselor to Montana's governor), is titled "Yes, Miky, There Are Rabbis in Montana." Miky is the name of the police dog who made his way to Montana from Israel via Holland. In Israel, he was a bomb dog trained to respond to commands in Hebrew. Now in Montana, his police partner's Hebrew just wasn't up to snuff. And that's where the Chabad rabbi comes into the story.

The Chabad rabbi met Miky the bomb-sniffing German Shephered at the State Capitol. The rabbi helped the police officer with his pronunciation of some of Mikey's Hebrew commands.

They worked through a few pronunciations, and the rabbi, Chaim Bruk, is now on call to work with Miky and his owner as needed. Officer Fosket has since learned to pronounce the tricky Israeli "ch" sound, and Miky has become a new star on the police force. The two were even brought in by the Secret Service to work a recent presidential visit.

So all is well in the Jewish community here because the Hasidic rabbi is helping the Montana cop speak Hebrew to his dog. It is good news all around. The officer keeps the Capitol safe, and the Hebrew pooch is feeling more at home hearing his native tongue.

But the big winner is the rabbi, a recent arrival from Brooklyn who is working hard (against tough odds) to bring his Lubavitch movement to Montana. He has been scouring the state for anyone who can speak Hebrew, and is elated to have found a German shepherd he can talk to.

This is truly an uplifting story as the Hanukkah festival approaches. If nothing else, it reminds us of the tiny Jewish communities in places like Bozeman and Whitefish, Montana. While I'm sure that the Chabad shlichim (emissaries) who are sent to these far off communities don't expect to be commanding police dogs in Hebrew, I'm also sure that nothing surprises them anymore.

Tiger Woods

Originally posted at Kaplan's Korner: On Jews & Sports. Thank you to Ron Kaplan, of the New Jersey Jewish News, for asking me to guest blog on this topic for Kaplan's Korner.

The Takeaway from Tiger's Triple Bogey

When it was first reported that Tiger Woods was injured in a single car crash on Nov. 27, many suspected there might be more to the story. This was based on the fact that no one would believe that Tiger's wife was simply testing the durability of the SUV's windows with Tiger's Nike driver.

Now, after days of refusing to come clean to the media about any personal indiscretions, Tiger Woods has admitted to marital infidelity. Like the public confessions of adultery often made by disgraced politicians, there will be those who argue this is a personal matter that should remain within the confines of the Woods family, as well as those who take the side that celebrities' dirty laundry is to be aired in the free-for-all that is the public domain.

Tiger is a mega-celebrity and there's no way around his private transgressions becoming public fodder. That's the downside of celebrity. It sort of makes you wonder why "Average Joe's" like the Balloon Boy's dad, the White House party crashers, Joe the Plumber, and reality TV wannabes would really want to put their life in the spotlight. I'm sure Tiger learned long ago that fame and fortune would follow from his extraordinary talents on the golf course, but that the downside would be that his private life would no longer remain private. His lapses in judgment, while no worse than many a common man's, would be the headlines on the covers of newspapers, websites, and tabloid magazines. Certainly, one lesson he has learned as a result of this event is that he really does need a press release for private matters. The public will fight until the story is revealed and that means no celebrity is free to take the Fifth when the media come calling.

No matter what your opinion of whether the media — and therefore the public - should allow Tiger Woods and his wife some privacy to deal with their "issue," the fact remains that his adultery is now part of the public discourse. So, what is there to be learned from his mistake? Much like the time a decade ago when our president admitted his disregard for his marital promise of monogamy, the public will be discussing the issue of adultery yet again.

From the Jewish perspective, adultery is clearly a sin; the seventh commandment prohibits adultery. Judaism unambiguously categorizes marriage as a holy act (kiddushin in Hebrew).

In Genesis, Joseph admonishes his seductress, Potiphar's wife, telling her that adultery is a sin against God. Perhaps the most well known act of adultery recorded in the Torah is when King David bedded Batsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite. That act led to the tragic murder of Uriah at the hand of David.

Adultery truly begins a slippery slope of negative actions. It leads to additional lying and cheating through denial. Furthermore, adultery never ends well because it is usually several people who get hurt.

We live in a time when the magazines in the checkout line portray celebrities as "just like us." These icons supposedly grocery shop like us, drink their morning coffee, ride their bicycle, and yell at their kids in the park just like we do. They have lapses in judgment just like us, too. But of course, they are much different than us in reality because the average guy doesn't have to issue a press release when he's accused of cheating on his wife.

It is indeed sad that the greatest golfer in the world can't keep his private affairs from the eager claws of the TMZ generation, but that's just the dark side of life in the spotlight. Poor Tiger is desperately trying to fight his way out of the toughest sand trap he's ever faced and we wish him well. But that doesn't mean we can't learn something from his ordeal.