Twitter: Don't Expand 140 Character Limit

A woman once called the newspaper to place a death notice after her husband died. The newspaper representative explained that their policy is to charge by each word. "Well in that case," she replied, "Just print 'Max Schwartz died.'" They man responded, “There is a six word minimum." She said, "Fine, print: 'Max Schwartz died. Cadillac for sale.'"

I love that joke. I love it not only for its levity, but also for its brevity. As a rabbi, I must tell you that the stereotype that rabbis are long-winded is true. After all, we have a lot we want to say and it's much more difficult to tell a long story than a short one. You've heard the famous quote that has been attributed to many different authors: “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”

Over the years, I've become better at keeping it brief thanks to Twitter. Yes, the same social network that gets a bad rap because it's a time killer, a way to avoid the real world, a place for gossiping and complaining, bragging and boasting has made me a more concise writer. I've trained myself to condense my thoughts on a controversial article down to 140 characters or less for a tweet.

Sheryl Sandberg's Wise Words in the Face of Tragedy

One of the most challenging aspects of being a rabbi, in my opinion, is finding the right words to bring comfort to those mourning following the tragic death of a loved one. Aside from the traditional Hebrew phrase we offer mourners, I often find myself left with only four words to offer to those grieving: "There are no words."

After my infant nephew died and people were at a loss for words, I simply uttered, "There are no words." Truthfully though, there are words. And the words aren't necessary from those who are offering comfort. Sometimes the most meaningful words are from the mourners themselves. Those who are in pain from grief can actually find tremendous comfort in their own words.

This was not the case in the Torah following one of the biggest tragedies. After the sudden death of two of Aaron's sons, the Torah explains how the father handled his grief. Using only two words, we are told "Vayidom Aharon," Aaron was silent. So often, silence is the most natural way for mourners to deal with the shock of a sudden death of a loved one. However, after time ones own words may bring comfort.

Credit: Scott Eells/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Such was the case today with Sheryl Sandberg, the Facebook executive whose husband, Dave Goldberg, died suddenly last month. In a Facebook post today on the occasion of the completion of the sheloshim (30-day) period, Sheryl posted a beautiful and inspirational message on her public Facebook account. Her aim was to give back some of the words that were most helpful to her during her period of immense grief. She writes that she received wisdom and advice from close friends and strangers alike. She specifically singles out her close friend and Detroit native Adam Grant, who taught her three things essential to resilience. Sometimes rather than try to come up with the right words to offer to a mourner, we should just listen.

Sheryl's Facebook post has already been shared close to 40,000 times and major media outlets have helped circulate it. Mark Zuckerberg, Robert Scoble, Randi Zuckerberg and many other leading technology executives have commented on her post as well. Sheryl's words are too important and impactful not to share:

Sheryl Sandberg:

Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.