When You’re Unfriended in Real Life

The schools of the great sages of the Jewish people, Hillel and Shammai, were known to debate each other on just about every topic. The students of these two schools rarely agreed on anything; each strongly and passionately arguing the opposite position of the other, albeit always with respect for the other’s opinion.

In Judaism, we believe that each human is created in the divine image and, thus, we have the responsibility to treat one another with respect. However, many of us humans don’t act with godliness when participating in Facebook discussions involving political viewpoints.

The 2012 election was bad when it came to a lack of civility on Facebook, but the 2016 election a year ago was many times worse. I’m scared to think of what 2020 will bring us. Many close friends unfriended each other on the social network, relatives blocked relatives and, even worse, long-term relationships in real life were severed because of hurt feelings during political arguments. While the election might have been over on November 8, 2016, the heated arguments on Facebook have continued. In the past year, with a President known to send out many divisive tweets before most people have had their first cup of coffee, the Facebook battlefield has only intensified.

If you have a Facebook account, you likely witnessed at least one unfortunate interaction in the past couple of years. It has been impossible to post anything about either presidential candidate without a couple of trolls coming in to paste the latest talking points from the most extremist online blogs they could find to bolster their position or refute everyone else’s opinion.

This has been true on both sides, from the extreme left and the extreme right. On social networks, especially Facebook, people have learned to hide behind their screens when they say these hateful things, but it affects all their relationships and not only their virtual relationships. In the run-up to the 2016 election, most political opinions on either candidate would be met with attacks in the comment section of that post. Many of the comments were not fact checked and some were outright myths that had already been debunked by Snopes.com, the fact-checking web site. In the past year, tempers have flared even more with friends attacking friends on Facebook over everything from the NFL's national anthem controversy and the Second Amendment to the Russian interference in the election and Trump's policies. No topic is off limits when it comes to firing shots in the comment section of Facebook and real friendships become the collateral damage.

I was recently tutoring a young woman for her bat mitzvah and we were studying the Tower of Babel story within her Torah portion. I explained that God was so angered that humans would try to build a tower to the sky that God punished them by confounding their languages so they couldn’t communicate with one another. Immediately, this wise 13-year-old girl said, “In my bat mitzvah speech, I want to talk about how we communicate with each other.” And she immediately hit the nail on the head by explaining the negative effects that occur from the way teens talk to each other in the 21st century. Rather than speaking face-to-face, today’s teens send coded text messages, Snapchat messages that disappear after several seconds, and comments under the photos they post on Instagram. The language they use is different from what any prior generation would recognize as English. One misinterpreted emoji or abbreviation can mean the end of a friendship.

On Facebook, it’s not only the teens who resort to insults and abusive language when someone offends them with their strongly held opinion. Earlier generations wouldn’t understand how your crazy liberal uncle can get into a heated debate with some girl you went to summer camp with a few decades ago.

When adults begin threatening to “unfollow” or “unfriend,” we quickly find ourselves feeling trapped and annoyed in a fourth-grade-esque insult circus. Cutting off contact with someone with opposing ideology will never further discussion, debate and democracy. Sadly, a lot of people on Facebook are close-minded, unwilling to listen to opposing opinions.

The Day After the Election: A Postmortem

To blog or not to blog today, that was the question. As this unusual election became more divisive and, well, bizarre, I found myself blogging less. I didn't want to write about politics and everything else that I typically blog about just seemed inconsequential. Last night, the unimaginable happened. Okay, to be fair, like many I did consider the unlikely political earthquake that would happen if Donald Trump won.

Today, the day after the 2016 presidential election happens to be the anniversary of Kristallnacht. Upon seeing the posts of friends and colleagues on Facebook and Twitter making stark comparisons between this horrific night in 1938 in Berlin and modern day America, I felt this was completely inappropriate. However, last night there were anti-Semitic incidents in celebration of Donald Trump's victory (see the graffiti below in Philadelphia). Certainly, this was not a Kristallnacht -- not even close -- but, we should all be concerned about the hateful cadre among Trump's supporters.

This past Rosh Hashanah I wanted to speak out about the dangerous rhetoric of this election season. I knew that I had to do this without endorsing one candidate over the other. My goal was to express my outrage at the pomposity of Donald Trump, but also encourage all of us to be more tolerant of others and to listen to those who felt their voices had not historically been heard. I think that if we were to point to one reason so many of us were surprised by the outcome of the 2016 election it would be that we live in a bubble. The Facebook feed of the liberal elite is an echo chamber. As I recognized as the results came in last night, 99% of my Facebook connections were in the Hillary Clinton camp and so the sentiments I heard for the better part of the past two years were fully in sync with my own. I warned of this Facebook echo chamber in my Rosh Hashanah sermon and I too fell victim to it.

What follows is a selection of my 2016 Rosh Hashanah sermon from the first day of the holiday:

Hillary Clinton and Passover

After Passover in the year 2000 I remember driving back from New Jersey to Manhattan after teaching a Hebrew School class. My classmate, Faith Friedman, was sitting next to me in the car telling me about how a fellow rabbinical school student had just had Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at his family's Passover seder. I listened intently to this second-hand story that David Fine had told Faith.

I couldn't believe what a great story this was. To have the First Lady and Chelsea Clinton sit at your family's Seder and participate must have made for a very impressive evening. President Bill Clinton didn't attend the Fine Family seder because he was meeting with Yasser Arafat at the time.

A few years ago I was in Berlin on a trip with fellow Conservative Rabbis and Rabbi David Fine was one of the participants. On the first night in Berlin, David offered to give me a guided walking tour of the city. After a two-hour walk he asked if I had any questions. I said, "Yes, tell me about that time the Clintons came to your parents' home for the Pesach seder."

Conservative Rabbi Asks Hillary Clinton "What's in Your Pocket?"

In last night's Democratic Town Hall in New Hampshire, hosted by CNN, Rabbi Jonathan Spira-Savett of the Conservative synagogue Temple Beth Abraham in Nashua made headlines with his question to Hillary Clinton.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Rabbi Jonathan Spira-Savett (Salon.com)

Rabbi Spira-Savett, a Harvard graduate who was ordained at the Jewish Theological Seminary, beautifully phrased his question about humility to Mrs. Clinton:

Another rabbi, Rabbi Simcha Bunem taught that every person has to have two pockets and in each pocket they have to carry a different note. And the note in one pocket says the universe was created for me. And in the other pocket the note says I am just dust and ashes. And I want you to take a moment and think about what you would tell us about your two pockets. How do you cultivate the ego, the ego that we all know you must have, a person must have to be the leader of the free world, and also the humility to recognize that we know that you can't be expected to be wise about all the things that the president has to be responsible for?

How This Jewish Teen Invited Bernie Sanders to BBYO International Convention

Sometimes if you just look like you are supposed to be somewhere, no one will ask any questions. That was the case for me earlier this month when I heard Kevin Spacey speak at the AT&T Developer Summit at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. About a half hour after the conclusion of his speech I casually walked to a service elevator behind the stage and found myself riding a few floors in an elevator with Kevin Spacey after he had made an elevator metaphor in his speech. I suppose it's fair to say this will be the only time in my life I'll share an elevator ride with a sitting American president!

House of Cards actor Kevin Spacey delivers the keynote address at the 2016 AT&T Developer Summit

I thought of my Kevin Spacey experience the other day when I read about seventeen-year-old Louis Shenker. The Jewish teen from Massachusetts managed to sneak into the Democratic debate Charleston, South Carolina. Not only did Shenker sit in Bill Clinton's assigned seat at the debate and get on live television shmoozing with Hillary Clinton, but he also invited Bernie Sanders to come to the upcoming BBYO International Convention and serve as a keynote speaker.

In an interview with attn.com, Shenker acknowledged that he wasn't "qualified to [invite the candidate to speak at the convention], but I figured if they said 'yes' I would bring it to the attention of someone who was."

In a blog post, Shenker explained how he not only got past the entrance of the presidential debate without a ticket and gained VIP access into the debate. He writes, "One particular staffer asked if I was Martin O’Malley’s son and I said yes. He went and told some of the other staff that I was the former Governor’s son and I gained recognition based on my [unique and very loud] jacket."

Louis Shenker, a Jewish teen from Massachusetts, at the Democratic presidential debate

"I then continued to Hillary Clinton and introduced myself. I told her that she debated very well and that I wished her the best of luck and shook her hand. She said that it was a pleasure meeting me and commented that she thought I was dressed very sharp. It was at this point that the debate came back from commercial and there I was front and center on national television shaking hands with Hillary."

Of course Shenker didn't even realize he achieved his 15 seconds of fame until his cellphone began ringing with friends and family watching him live on television. His ability to sneak into the debate and then gain access backstage certainly means the Secret Service missed something, but it also goes to show that sometimes if you just look like you are supposed to be somewhere, no one will ask any questions. Whether Bernie Sanders actually shows up at BBYO Internation Convention in Baltimore in a couple weeks remains to be seen. If he does, I think Shenker will become the most popular Jewish teen in BBYO.

Celebrities For and Against Israel: Should We Care?

First, I stopped listening to all Pink Floyd music and even went so far as to change the channel when one of their songs came on the radio. Then, following Mick and Keith's concert in Israel, I fell in love with the music of The Rolling Stones all over again. Then my favorite late night TV talking head Jon Stewart broke my heart. But Hillary Clinton promptly put him in his place. And then I tried to defend my favorite singer Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam, arguing it was just an alcohol-induced tirade against war in general, but to no avail. But there was Neil Young (the Eddie Vedder of a prior generation?) standing up for Israel, which seemed to counter Eddie's drunken rant.

Eddie Vedder (Photo by Jason Oxenham)

I was then quick to celebrate Bill Maher and Howard Stern for their steadfast support of Israel, but immediately found myself back on the defensive when Hollywood celebrities like Rihanna, Ryan Gosling, Selena Gomez and One Direction's Zayn Malik fired off tweets expressing their love and support for the "Free Palestine" movement. Then, like a Hollywood version of Iron Dome, Jewish celebs Scarlett Johansson, Dr. Ruth and Mayim Bialik fired back with level-headed Pro-Israel tweets. Joan Rivers ripped Selena Gomez as ignorant when TMZ.com ran into her at the airport and asked about the singer's pro-Palestinian tweet. NBA star Dwight Howard promptly removed his anti-Israel tweet, but Israeli pro basketball player Omri Casspi shot off a few quick tweets of his own with facts about the hundreds of Gazan missiles directed at Israel.

One anti-Israel Facebook page listed the many celebrities who have voiced support for Israel. The list, including such names as Adam Sandler, Amare Stoudemire, Annette Bening, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ashton Kutcher (and those are just the A's), appears to be more of a hastily thrown together list of who's who in Hollywood with over three hundred names. Today, it was announced that one hundred Spanish celebs, including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, have signed on to a petition in support of Gaza in the ongoing crisis with Israel.

Statement from Haredi Newspaper Regarding Hillary Clinton's Photoshop Job

The Haredi Jewish newspaper Der Zeitung (sometimes spelled Der Tzitung) has issued a statement about its alteration of the official White House photograph that included Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Audrey Tomason, the director for counter-terrorism.

I'm glad that Der Zeitung has issued a statement, but I'm STILL cancelling my subscription (I will keep the lovely tote bag though).

The White House released a picture showing the President following “live” the events in the apprehension of Osama Bin Laden, last week Sunday. Also present in the Situation Room were various high-ranking government and military officials. Our photo editor realized the significance of this historic moment, and published the picture, but in his haste he did not read the “fine print” that accompanied the picture, forbidding any changes. We should not have published the altered picture, and we have conveyed our regrets and apologies to the White House and to the State Department.

The allegations that religious Jews denigrate women or do not respect women in public office, is a malicious slander and libel. The current Secretary of State, the Honorable Hillary R. Clinton, was a Senator representing New York State with great distinction 8 years. She won overwhelming majorities in the Orthodox Jewish communities in her initial campaign in ‘00, and when she was re-elected in ‘06, because the religious community appreciated her unique capabilities and compassion to all communities. The Jewish religion does not allow for discrimination based on gender, race, etc.

We respect all government officials. We even have special prayers for the welfare of our Government and the government leaders, and there is no mention of gender in such prayers.

All Government employees are sworn into office, promising adherence to the Constitution, and our Constitution attests to our greatness as a nation that is a light beacon to the entire world. The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion. That has precedence even to our cherished freedom of the press! In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which in no way relegates them to a lower status. Publishing a newspaper is a big responsibility, and our policies are guided by a Rabbinical Board. Because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention. We apologize if this was seen as offensive.

We are proud Americans of the Jewish faith, and there is no conflict in that, and we will with the help of the Almighty continue as law-abiding citizens, in this great country of our’s, until the ultimate redemption.

This story (Hillary Clinton's HarediGate?) has been the hot topic of the day. I have to agree with Shmarya Rosenberg of FailedMessiah who wrote, "there is no Jewish law mandating the removal of normally clothed women from pictures like this." Refusing to publish photos of women in a newspaper is but one more example of extremist Jews being so scared of modernity that they erect high fences around Jewish laws to keep their adherents from from "harm." Is it really better to misrepresent the truth and deceive people than to see a photo of a modestly clothed Secretary of State?

Hillary Clinton Removed from Iconic Photo by Hasidic Newspaper

Cross-posted to The Jewish Techs blog at The NY Jewish Week

A big hat-tip to Failed Messiah (who gave a hat-tip to Critical Minyan) for breaking the news that an Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish newspaper, Der Tzitung, has determined that the photo of top U.S. leaders receiving an update on the mission against Osama bin Laden was too scandalous.

What was so offensive about the image? U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was in the photo and, based on good intel, the editor of Der Tzitung discovered that she is a woman. The Hasidic newspaper will not intentionally include any images of women in the paper because it could be considered sexually suggestive. The iconic photo shows President Obama, Vice President Biden, and members of the U.S. National Security Team in the Situation Room of the White House. Secretary of State Clinton, wearing a long-sleeved suit jacket, sits with her hand over her mouth. I'm not sure how Der Tzitung determined this was a racy photo. Perhaps they just don't like the idea of a woman with that much political power.

Der Tzitung Photophopped Hillary Clinton out of the photo, thereby changing history. To my mind, this act of censorship is actually a violation of the Jewish legal principle of g'neivat da'at (deceit). I wrote about this subject a year ago following the Flotilla debacle in Israeli waters outside Gaza when the Reuters news agency doctored photos that it published by removing weapons from individuals aboard the Mavi Marmara. The doctoring of photographs like this is referred to as "Fauxtograpphing." I'm curious to hear how Der Tzitung responds to its attempt to remove Hillary Clinton from this iconic photo and thereby from this historic event.

This official photograph was released from the White House and includes the following disclaimer after the caption: "This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House."